Category Archives: NFC

AFC, New England Patriots, NFC, NFL

NFL Week Seven Power Rankings

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It wasn’t the blood bath I was hoping for, but the Colts trying to pull off the Annexation of Puerto Rico made it all worthwhile. Indianapolis showed a little bit of pride and finally dropped their nuts after being shoved into a locker in the previous billion meetings. My boys came away with a victory on the road and sit atop the AFC, per usual. However, a tough game looms at home this weekend when a rejuvenated Jets team comes to town. This matchup places the number one offense in the league against the number one defense in a game that will play much closer than people think. The defensive front of the Jets is arguably the best in the league and let’s not forget about number twenty-four in the secondary. Granted, they still have the Amish King running the show on offense, but Todd Bowles led an Arizona defense into Foxboro a few years back and shocked the Patriots. Not sure if this has crossed anyone else’s mind, but we are almost halfway through the regular season. Winter is coming…

1) New England Patriots – If you don’t think Ernie Adams had something to do with the Colts calling that play, you’re lying to yourself.

2) Green Bay Packers – The Denim King proved he was human throwing a few interceptions two weeks back, and the defense let up a quarter-mile worth of passing yards. Yet, the Pack is still undefeated.

3) Cincinnati Bengals – The Bengals have the deepest roster in the NFL. Fact, not opinion. Can the Ginger keep up his stellar play when the elements come into play?

4) Denver Broncos – Denver’s defense and special teams has outscored the offense. I picked them to win the Super Bowl, but I don’t think they keep this pace up when the weather declines.

5) Carolina Panthers – Cam Newton did something he hasn’t done since he came into the league. He earned my kudos.

6) Arizona Cardinals – The Cardinals lost to Mike Vick and Landry Jones. Plain and simple. I won’t and can’t buy a Carson Palmer led team.

7) New Jersey Jets – Sheldon Richardson is licking his chops for Sunday’s game in New England. Hey Snacks, so is TB12.

8) Atlanta Falcons – The Falcons ran into The Kings of Primetime. Not many people beat the Saints in their own building when the stage is at its biggest.

9) Philadelphia Eagles – When is Chip Kelly going to realize running Demarco Murray laterally out of the pistol is not the best way to use his skillset?

10) Pittsburgh Steelers – Welcome to the NFL Landry Jones. Big Ben should be 100% healthy before he laces up the cleats again, and the organization will be foolish to allow him to do otherwise.

11) New Jersey Giants – I’ve never seen a quarterback make more horrible decisions in my life than Eli Manning. I mean these are the dumbest of dumb throws.

12) Seattle Seahawks – Russell Wilson’s pocket awareness is as sharp as a spork they give to prisoners.

13) Buffalo Bills – The locker room is already starting to unravel halfway through Rex Ryan’s first season.

14) San Diego Chargers– If 502 passing yards isn’t winning you football games, something is wrong on the other side of the ball.

15) Indianapolis Colts– I call it, The Annexation of Puerto Rico.

16) Dallas Cowboys – Bye Week

17) Minnesota Vikings – The Vikings offensive line needs to improve, regardless of the team winning games. AP is the cog that makes that engine go.

18) Miami Dolphins – The Fish seemed to play with a little bit of fire for their new coach. Maybe the Oklahoma drill actually works?

19) Cleveland Browns – Captain Mike must have been sick after that game on Sunday. He had multiple chances to put the Broncos and Manning away, and his team puked on themselves.

20) St. Louis Rams – Bye Week

21) Oakland Raiders – Bye Week

22) Chicago Bears – Alshon Jeffery’s return is going to be huge for the Bears offense. They need more out of the running game from Matt Forte to be competitive though.

23) New Orleans Saints – Brees delivered per usual for the Kings of Primetime.

24) Kansas City Chiefs – The Chiefs may not win more than four games this year. The team is a mess in all three phases of the game.
25) Houston Texans – Deandre Hopkins may be the best receiver in football in only his second year.

26) Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Bye week.

27) Washington Redskins – Gruden making excuses for the weather being too windy for his quarterback is not a good look.

28) Detroit Lions – Fat Face won a game! Fat Face won a game!

29) Jacksonville Jaguars – Not only do the Jaguars stink, they have to make their annual trip across the pond to get beaten by the Bills on Sunday.

30) San Francisco 49ers – I’m happy for Tomasula. We all laughed at his EBS issues in his presser a few weeks back. The Niners put their foot on the gas Sunday against the Ravens, finally. Plenty of pun intended.

31) Baltimore Ravens – Oh Baltimore, you will be 1-6 by this time next week. Life is good.

32) Tennessee Titans – Mariota has a slight MCL sprain. The Selfie King may be taking the snaps for the next few weeks.

AFC, NFC, NFL

Week 6 NFL Picks

Let’s all celebrate, because I finally picked a Thursday night game correctly last night. Hurray! I had the Saints +3.5, and I’ll be honest, I watched baseball last night instead of the game. Seriously, the quality of play on Thursday nights is horrible. Take out the first game where the Patriots and Steelers both played a relatively good game but obviously it wasn’t a short week. The Chiefs turned it over five times in a sloppy Week 2 game. The Giants couldn’t score touchdowns in the red zone against the Redskins. The Michael Vick-led Steelers blew a game to the Ravens where the Ravens didn’t play very well. There was the Brian Hoyer/Ryan Mallet shit show against the Matt Hasselbeck-led Colts last week. And then last night, the 6-0 Falcons looked sloppy offensively and lost to Drew Brees throwing without a shoulder. So yeah, quality has been bad, and a lot of underdogs have won, so I took the Saints at home playing against a hobbled Julio Jones and a Falcons team coming off of an overtime game against the Redskins. The only good thing from last night’s game? The fantasy phenomenon that is Devonta Freeman. I say this as a proud Freeman owner in two different leagues, especially in my league where I blew my first two picks on DeMarco Murray and Jeremy Hill. So, if you’re reading Devonta, thank you very much for all of the touchdowns, and please keep them coming. On to the picks.

Redskins (+6) over JETS

Do people really think the Jets are six points better than the Redskins? Are we still in the mindset we went into the season with that the Redskins were the worst team in the league? And if the answer is yes, then why have we accepted the Jets as a real team and not the Redskins? Let’s look at this unbelievable 3-1 Jets team. They beat the Browns, the Colts, lost to the Eagles, and beat the Dolphins. Great job on your 3-1 career record Todd Bowles, you don’t get to lay six points against a team that beat the Rams and Eagles and gave the Giants and Falcons tough games.

Cardinals (-3.5) over STEELERS

As a Ben Roethlisberger fantasy owner who has started Derek Carr the last two weeks, I really hope Big Ben plays, but there’s no way he comes back after just two weeks. I know the guy is big, he’s strong, and he’s tough, but he’s not playing, and if he does he won’t be anywhere near 100%, which while it might still be better than Michael Vick at 100%, isn’t going to fair well against an opportunistic Cardinals defense. I think Vick may have gained some confidence with that last drive on Monday night, but the Cardinals are a real team that are very well coached and should give that offense fits.

VIKINGS (-3.5) over Chiefs

Let’s admit it, the Chiefs are not a good team. Their one win is against the Texans, and that might be one of the five worst teams in the league. They’re 1-4, and just blew a game against the Bears. Jamaal Charles is now out, not that he was helping this offense very much, and they can’t drive the ball 80 yards against anybody. The Vikings are a borderline playoff team, I’ll take them at home only giving 3.5.

BILLS (+3) over Bengals

The Bengals proved something last week. When they were down 24-7, it looked like this was the old Bengals that baited you into buying into them only to implode in a big game like they always do, but they came back and won. But this week, they’re due for a letdown. The Bills are banged up offensively, but defensively they gave Mariota problems last week, and I think they keep this game low scoring and I’ll take them getting three at home.

Bears (+3) over LIONS

Seriously, why are the Lions laying three points to anybody? This seems like a similar situation to the Redskins. Detroit was supposed to be a borderline playoff team going into the year, and people haven’t moved past that. They are bad. Their offense looks horrible, and when Jay Cutler’s playing, the Bears are an okay team. The Lions shouldn’t give anyone points, especially when Cutler’s playing.

Broncos (-4) over BROWNS

Don’t get me wrong, the Browns are a tough out, but I think Josh McCown’s run of excellence comes to an end against this Denver defense. The Bronco’s offense is 30th in the league, but they should get a boost against a Browns team that just gave up 30 points to a bad Ravens offensive line. Maybe they can finally run the ball a little bit.

JAGUARS (-1) over Texans

You know who might be good? Blake Bortles. People kind of wrote him off after a shaky rookie season, but this year he’s completing almost 60% of his passes, thrown for close to 1300 yards, and has ten touchdowns to four interceptions. Last year, he threw 11 touchdowns and 17 interceptions. The improvement is there, and the Texans would die for that quarterback situation right now. And by the way, the Texans could have that quarterback situation, but with the number one pick they drafted Clowney, when they already had J.J. Watt, and he’s played a total of nine games so far and has been playing hurt this year. Great move Houston.

Dolphins (+1.5) over TITANS

The Dolphins should start playing better. This is a good team, but they quit on their coach before the season started. That’s over, and they should be playing harder and closer to their capability this week. Coming off of a bye, and playing against a struggling Titans offense, I’ll take Miami getting points.

SEAHAWKS (-7) over Panthers

Everybody loves the 4-0 Panthers, and everyone is skeptical about the 2-3 Seahawks, but allow me to go through the Panthers 4-0 record. They have beaten the Jaguars, Texans, Saints, and Buccaneers. I’d like to say congratulations on your undefeated record against teams with a combined 6-15 record. Now go on the road and beat the Seahawks with no weapons (outside of your tight end who will have to deal with Kam Chancellor) against a pissed off Seattle defense and good luck trying to stop the Seahawk’s offense that put up 24 points on a good Bengals defense last week and has Marshawn Lynch coming back. The Panthers will also have a banged up Luke Kuechly. Prove something to me Cam Newton.

PACKERS (-10.5) over Chargers

Normally the Monday night loser is an automatic the following week, but this year they are just 1-4 against the spread the following week. The one win was the Vikings, who played in a weird double header that started actually ended on Tuesday morning on the east coast, so maybe it wasn’t a Monday night loser. In addition to being 5-0, the Packers are also 5-0 against the spread this year. Coming off of two shaky offensive performances, I expect them to get things under control again this week.

Ravens (-2) over 49ERS

This will be a closer game than you think. The Ravens are 1-4 because they are as good as a 1-4 team, and the 49ers have been decent defensively. The Ravens have no pass rush, and as you saw last week on Sunday night, Colin Kaepernick looks competent when he doesn’t have to make quick decisions. However, San Francisco is still a mess, and the Ravens have a severe advantage at coach and quarterback, so I’ll lay a couple points.

Patriots (-10) over COLTS

You’ve heard the narrative all week. This is the revenge tour for the Patriots. There’s no way they lose to the Colts. They’ll probably score 95 points in this game. I can’t disagree with any of that, but let me pose one question: How is this a revenge game for the Patriots? They steamrolled the Colts last year, in the playoffs and the regular season, they steamrolled them in the playoffs the year before, and they steamrolled them in the regular season the year before that. Do the Colts have any pride? Do they feel embarrassed at all? Do they just walk out onto the field, knowing the Patriots are just going to keep hammering away with big running backs and let them rush for 200 yards and 4 touchdowns? Do they care? Are they professional football players? Don’t they have the best young quarterback since Brady/Manning? I’m calling you out Colts. I want to see something. Prove to me that you are NFL players and that it bugs you at least a little bit that you routinely get embarrassed by the Patriots and everyone expects it to keep happening.

Giants (+5) over EAGLES

The Eagles looked good last week, but this is too many points to give. The Giants are one of the most underrated teams in the NFL. Despite all kinds of injuries on defense, their secondary is still strong and should give Sam Bradford problems. The Eagles will have to run the ball effectively to win this game, and their secondary will have to play to the best of its capabilities, or else Eli should shred them. Look at the weapons at his disposal right now. Even if Odell Beckham is hurt, Larry Donnell is an emerging tight end, Reuben Randle is an effective receiver, Shane Vereen is the best receiving running back in the NFL, and Rashad Jennings and Andre Williams complete a loaded backfield. 5 points is too much in this one.

For college football fans or just degenerate gamblers who will bet on anything, I’m in a weekly college football pick ’em. Here’s my picks for this week: LSU (-9.5), Michigan State (+8), USC (+6.5), TCU (-20.5), Alabama (-4), Oregon, Air Force, and South Florida straight up.

NFL Record Last Week: 6-8-1

NFL Record Overall: 39-39-3

College Football Record Last Week: 4-4-0

College Football Record Overall: 21-19-0

AFC, New England Patriots, NFC, NFL

NFL: Week Six Power Rankings

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Any fan in the New England region circled this this Sunday on the calendar, the second the schedule was released. The drug addict owner, the scumbag general manager, and a fan base whom is planning on flying a blimp over the stadium (which has a closed roof might I add), have to face their demons in a just a few days. Will Mr. Kraft be giving some sort of motivational speech during the pregame? I wouldn’t doubt it. Is Brady going to be playing with the fire of a thousand suns in Lucas Oil Stadium? That isn’t even a legitimate question. Will the Patriots punch the Colts in the mouth and take their lunch money again? I sure hope so. We’ve beaten them by a million the last four times we’ve played, so history is on the Patriots side. I don’t want to get too caught up in this and start flying the homer flag too much, so I’m going right into the rankings.

1) New England Patriots – The champs are still undefeated and are about to commit murder in Indianapolis on Sunday night.

2) Green Bay Packers – The Packers defense won them a game on Sunday. The Denim King threw her first two interceptions of the season, but they came out on top.

3) Cincinnati Bengals – OK Cincy, you have my interest now. You beat a solid team at home.

#PrayForIndy via gillettesgallerygods.wordpress.com
#PrayForIndy
via gillettesgallerygods.wordpress.com

4) Denver Broncos – Manning’s arm still looks dead, but the defense in Denver is very much alive.

5) Atlanta Falcons – Devonta Freeman has been an absolute monster, and picked up the slack for an ailing Julio Jones.

6) Arizona Cardinals – Arizona is getting far too much hype. They are feasting on TERRIBLE quarterbacks and offenses. However, they are still 4-1.

7) Carolina Panthers – Coming off bye week.

8) New Jersey Jets – Coming off bye week.

9) New Jersey Giants – The Giants could very well be 5-0 right now.

10) Buffalo Bills – This Bills team reminds me a lot of the 2010 team that went to the AFC Championship. However, their secondary is 100 times worse.

11) Seattle Seahawks – Seattle blew it and I’m still wondering why they can’t get the ball to Jimmy Graham.

12) Pittsburgh Steelers – Steeler fans can’t wait for Big Ben to come back. However, knowing him he may rush back too quickly and do further damage. It was a big win for the Steelers on the west coast in primetime though.

13) San Diego Chargers – San Diego lost to a team led by Mike Vick. Plain and simple.

14) Indianapolis Colts – The day of reckoning is upon you Indianapolis.

Neck Beard may get a Stone Cold Stunner from multiple Patriots defenders
Neck Beard may get a Stone Cold Stunner from multiple Patriots defenders

15) Philadelphia Eagles – Sam Bradford better learn to protect the football in the red zone, regardless of how much Philly won by.

16) Dallas Cowboys – The Cowboys need a quarterback, and quickly.

17) Chicago Bears – I’m happy for John Fox. The guy has been to hell and back and has his team playing hard again.

18) Kansas City Chiefs – Jamaal Charles’ injury ended his season and most likely the Chiefs as well.

19) Cleveland Browns – McCown threw for a billion yards and the Browns won a game in a tough place to play. They get Denver this coming Sunday at home.

20) St. Louis Rams – Nick Foles had one of the worst games I’ve seen a quarterback play in quite some time.

21) Oakland Raiders – The Raiders continue to make Raiders type plays in crunch time.

22) Minnesota Vikings – Coming off bye week.

23) Jacksonville Jaguars – The Jaguars need to improve in the secondary before they can become somewhat relevant.

24) Baltimore Ravens – Nothing brings me more joy than seeing Baltimore 1-4.

25) New Orleans Saints – It is a short week for the Saints, but the game is in primetime and at home. Typically Drew Brees plays out of his mind in games like this.

26) Miami Dolphins – Coming off bye week. *Editors note: at least they didn’t lose, however they can’t blame losses on Philbin anymore.

27) Washington Redskins – Just like the Skins found a way to win a game last week, they found a way to lose one this week.

28) Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Winston didn’t turn the ball over for the first time in his short professional career.

29) Houston Texans – Houston may not win another game the rest of the season.

Hoyer SHOULD be the starter, but Billy may overthink this for the 3,494th time
Hoyer SHOULD be the starter, but Billy may overthink this for the 3,494th time

30) Tennessee Titans – Tennessee did all in their power to let Buffalo win that game on Sunday.

31) San Francisco 49ers – Too little, too late for the Niners. They can build off of that loss, but still have a long way to go.

32) Detroit Lions – Fat Face got benched for Dan Orlovsky. Enough said…

AFC, NFC, NFL

NFL: Week 5 Picks

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Call me an idiot, but yes, I picked Ryan Mallett/Brian Hoyer laying points last night. But, in my defense, I was picking against a 40-year-old Matt Hasselbeck who was in the ER at 2 a.m. the night before. And by the way, anybody who wants to start using Hasselbeck’s 2-0 record as an indictment on Andrew Luck, just stop it. Hasselbeck beat the Jaguars in overtime, and almost went to overtime against the Texans who didn’t really know what they were doing on offense. Yeah, he played as well as the Colts could’ve hoped for, but with him at the helm, they have a 0% chance of beating the Patriots next week. At least with Luck they’ll have about a 0.5% chance, but more on that later.

Another takeaway from last night, are we sure the Texans aren’t one of the worst teams in the NFL? They’re 1-4, their one win was against the Buccaneers, and the only games they were somewhat competitive in were seven-point losses to the Colts and Panthers. Remember what Bill O’Brien said to open Hard Knocks? He said he was sick and tired of the disrespect everyone showed their quarterbacks. He said both of those kids could play, and one of them was going to get the chance to do it. Both of them have gotten a few chances through five games, and neither has looked any good at all. The best either of them has looked is in a relief role. Maybe they should just start one guy and no matter how well he’s playing put the other guy in after the first quarter. You hear that Bill O’Brien? I’m coming for your job. On to this week’s picks. Home teams are in all caps.

CHIEFS (-9) over Bears

If the Chiefs don’t look good in this game I’m just going to go ahead and call them a bad team. They’re 1-3, and while I know their three losses are “good” losses, they haven’t looked any good. Apparently Andy Reid’s offense doesn’t involve throwing a pass further than ten yards. But, the Bears are not a good team. Even with Cutler. I think the Chiefs have sort of a breakout game and win this one comfortably.

Seahawks (+3) over BENGALS

Everybody loves the Bengals right now. Here is where I advise caution. Remember last year after four weeks when everybody was jumping on the Bengals and throwing dirt on the Patriots because they had just gotten embarrassed in a Monday night game? Then the Patriots went and beat them 43-17 in Week 5. I’m not saying that’s going to happen here, I do think the Bengals turned some sort of corner when they beat Broncos at the end of last season, but I love the Seahawks getting points coming off a week where everybody is doubting them and talking about them needing an apparently blown call to beat an 0-4 Lions team.

Redskins (+7) over FALCONS

The Falcons are due for a let down. I think this team is good, but they’re not as good as they looked last week, and the Redskins are a better team than they were supposed to be. I’ll gladly take this many points against an overconfident team that’s played a little bit above their heads to this point.

BUCCANEERS (-2.5) over Jaguars

If you watch more than five minutes of this game and you’re not a fan of either team then you have a problem. I’ll take the home team with (I think) the better quarterback.

EAGLES (-5) over Saints

This could be a loser-goes-home game. Drew Brees made a nice throw on the overtime touchdown pass and looked good on what should’ve been the game-winning drive last week, but everybody in the world besides Jason Garrett knows he can’t throw deep anymore. I expect the Eagles to make him throw deep, and a more confident Sam Bradford (who played ok last week) to make some plays against a Saints defense that gave up some deep throws to Brandon Weeden last week.

RAVENS (-6.5) over Browns

The Browns are a tough out, but the Ravens need to win this game, and can you really expect Cleveland to go two weeks in a row without being embarrassing? The Ravens are coming off of a Thursday night game so they’ve had extra time to prepare, they have the far superior quarterback, and like I said, they need to win this game. I’ll swallow the points here.

Rams (+9) over PACKERS

This is way too many points. The Rams have a chance in this game to show that they are for real in this one, and they’re built to not only cover a nine point spread against the Packers but beat the Packers. They have the best defensive line in the league, so they can not only take away the running game but also get pressure on Aaron Rodgers. Todd Gurley looks really good, and this team can run the ball and keep Rodgers off the field. They also don’t turn the ball over and won’t give away any free points. This is one of the best bets of the week.

Bills (-2) over TITANS

This is probably the best bet of the week. The Bills are a real team, and they’re coming off a home loss and need to win. While they’re beat up offensively, the Titans don’t have a great defense. This line is low because a lot of people have become enamored with Mariota and the Titans are coming off of a bye, but now that there’s three games of film on Mariota, and with one of the best defensive mind’s in the league putting together a gameplan this week, the promising rookie could get a harsh dose of reality in this one.

Cardinals (-3) over LIONS

The Lions are not a good team. Their offensive line is a mess right now. Granted, they’ve had to play against some good defenses lately in Denver and Seattle, but there are no running lanes and Stafford has not time to do anything. I don’t expect anything to change against the Cardinals, who are another top defense. The Lions are coming off a short week, and the Cardinals will be motivated coming off of a disappointing loss. I think they win this one easily.

Patriots (-8.5) over COWBOYS

New England coming off of a bye in the continuation of their “F-U-NFL” Tour against Brandon Weeden and a bad Cowboys defense. They’ll cover this easily. Don’t overthink it. By the way, the Patriots play the Colts next week. I don’t care what the spread is on that game. The Patriots could be favored by 30 and I’d still pick them. The record for most points scored in one game is 72 by the Redskins in 1966. I think the Patriots could break that record. Seriously, what is the biggest reason Tom Brady is as good as he is? There’s a lot of things that make him good, from his pinpoint accuracy to his ability to pick apart defenses at the line of scrimmage even to the system he plays in. But above all of that is the chip on his shoulder, and playing against the team that almost cost him four games and his entire legacy along with a massive headache for seven months will make that chip the size of a boulder. So there you go, I’m already giving you two bets, so you’re welcome.

RAIDERS (+4.5) over Broncos

I love the Raiders in an upset this week. They have the better quarterback in 2015, and they’ll be motivated coming off a bad loss to possibly the worst team in the league. I don’t buy this Broncos team, and as good as their defense is, a good defense can be beaten by a good coach and quarterback, and I think the Raiders have both. Plus the Broncos have made all of their games a lot closer than they should’ve. I think this is going to be a close game and I’ll take the 4.5 points for the home team.

GIANTS (-7) over 49ers

I know Odell Beckham is good, but can we please stop acting like every catch he makes is the greatest thing that’s ever happened in a football game? Last week Beckham caught a pass out of bounds with one hand. It was a nice looking catch, but really unnecessary as he had no chance of landing in bounds. This was an actual tweet from the Sportscenter Twitter account after that catch, “Odell Beckham just had probably one of the greatest out-of-bounds catches in NFL history. WOW!” Thanks Sportscenter, why don’t we go through all the great out-of-bounds catches in the history of football and compare them. That would be more meaningless than trying to predict whether LeBron or Jordan would win a one-on-one game. Seriously, who cares? And honestly, he could’ve caught the pass with two hands if he wanted to. It would’ve been smarter, he’s less likely to drop it. Most NFL receivers can catch balls with one hand, this isn’t some new talent he has. For more complaining about Odell Beckham Jr., follow my buddy @Grantenacity on Twitter.

CHARGERS (-3) over Steelers

I’m not picking Michael Vick with only three points on the road. He looked horrible and unconfident last week, and the Steelers have to be a little shaken after finding a way to blow the Ravens game last week. Plus the Chargers really need a win where they look good.

For college football fans or just degenerate gamblers who will bet on anything, I’m in a weekly college football pick ’em. Here’s my picks for this week: Texas (+16.5), Ohio State (-32.5), Michigan (-8), California (+7), Missouri (+5), Georgia, UConn, and Nebraska straight up.

NFL Record Last Week: 6-8-1

NFL Record Overall: 32-32-2

College Football Record Last Week: 3-5-0

College Football Record Overall: 17-15-0

AFC, Dallas Cowboys, New Orleans Saints, NFC, NFL

Week 4 in Review: 4 things we learned

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Week four is in the books, and it was nothing short of controversial and drama-filled. From missed field goals to referee mess ups, here are four things we learned from week four of the NFL regular season. Plus, it was week four, so four things? Get it? Nevermind then, let’s get to it.

1) Who you have at kicker matters, seriously 

Week four was a terrible week for kickers. And I’m putting that mildly. There were 18 combined misses between field goals and extra points. Kickers missed game-winning chip shots. Week four was just so disgusting, and it taught us that you really need a good kicker. Josh Scobee of the Pittsburgh Steelers missed two field goals. Jason Myers of the Jacksonville Jaguars missed two game winning field goals. Zach Hocker of the New Orleans Saints dinged a potential game winning field goal off the upright. Caleb Sturgis of the Philadelphia Eagles missed a field goal and an extra point in a three-point loss the the Washington Redskins. There are only a few 100% accurate kickers in the NFL right now, and that list includes Stephen Gostkowski of the New England Patriots, Travis Coons of the Cleveland Browns, and Brandon McManus of the Denver Broncos. A good, accurate kicker is needed now in the NFL, and they’re the difference between a win, overtime, or a loss.

2) Drew Brees can still sling it.

Did Drew Brees really have a shoulder injury? On Sunday Night Football, Drew Brees carved up on the Dallas Cowboys defense as he went 33/41 for 359 yards an two touchdown passes. That second touchdown pass, was his 400th career touchdown pass, and it was the go-ahead touchdown to CJ Spiller to close the game in overtime. This game not only proved that his shoulder is fine, but he can still put up monster numbers.

3) The Cowboys are cursed with the injury bug.

 

Tony Romo is out. Dez Bryant is out. And so is practically half the roster for the Dallas Cowboys. On Sunday, the team lost linebacker Sean Lee and running back Lance Dunbar. This team has dealt with so many losses, that it’s a surprise they’re even 2-2. The team has played with so many bench and depth players, it’s like the movie, The Replacements. In all seriousness though, With all the current injuries that are stacked on this roster, this is a tough hole for the Cowboys to climb out of. With the NFC East in a three-way tie, the Cowboys need to get all the help they can get to even have a shot at the playoffs. And right now, help doesn’t look like it’s coming anytime soon.

4) The Refs need to open up their eyes

Seriously, referees really need to open up their eyes. I’m not kidding. Monday Night Football ended with a controversial no-call that was clear as day. How could they not see that KJ Wright illegally batted the ball to the back of the endzone? How could they not call that? Detroit should have rightfully had another chance to beat the Seahawks. The referees need to get it together quick if we’re going to like them, as if we’ve ever like them.

AFC, Buffalo Bills, New England Patriots, NFC, NFL

NFL Week Five Power Rankings

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It was the bye week here in New England, and a few things became crystal clear that were a bit hazy previously. The gap in the AFC East was supposed to be closed and the division was going to be competitive again. Sadly, the gap now resembles a washed up porn star waiting to be “back on top again”, no pun intended. The Dolphins fired their coach, the Bills have committed half a billion penalties and jumped back into the mediocre pool, and the jury is still out on the Jets. It is a week into October, but they are still 3-1. Time will tell how this will all shake out, but the AFC East could be clinched by Thanksgiving again. Another mind blowing situation over the weekend was the lack of quality in kicking, punting, or special teams in general. People want to crucify Papa Bill on franchising his kicker, and then giving him “crazy money”. Our squad has had two kickers in two decades. And both of them have nuts of steel. The Scorched Earth tour continues this weekend against Plastic Face’s Reverse Cowgirls and then off to the league mandated pharmacists’ Indianapolis Colts. I won’t look past Dallas, but I’ve had 10/18 circled on my calendar since the schedule came out this spring.

1) New England Patriots – Even Brady’s kid is setting new fashion trends. Did you see the photos from his sister’s wedding?

TB12 still on top, unless Super G wants to take control.
TB12 still on top, unless Super G wants to take control.

2) Green Bay Packers – The Denim King is playing at an MVP type level, but what was more surprising is how well his defense played on the road.

3) Denver Broncos – 75% of The Forehead’s passes look like they are going to be picked off. Regardless, the Broncos are 4-0.

4) Cincinnati Bengals – The Bengals still don’t have me buying what they are selling. However, they have my interest.

5) Atlanta Falcons – Overrated. The Falcons have beaten up on teams that have either been decimated by injury or just terrible to begin with.

6) Carolina Panthers – Carolina is on the same overrated train with the Falcons. One of them will have to win the piss poor NFC South.

7) Arizona Cardinals – Well so much for Arizona being the most complete team in the conference. The defense got lambasted by Nick F’ing Foles.

8) Seattle Seahawks – The offensive line better improve in Seattle, or Mr. Ciara is going to be carried out on a stretcher.

9) Dallas Cowboys – Amy Schumer’s twin brother has to beat Tom Brady on two weeks rest. Good luck.

10) New Jersey Jets – I give credit where credit is due. The Jets won a big bounce back game across the pond in London. Granted it was against a team that just fired its coach. But they are 3-1.

11) San Diego Chargers – We are four weeks into the season and have seen Good Phillip and Bad Phillip twice. Do the math.

12) Buffalo Bills – A loud mouth coach, a team that commits a billion and one penalties, and a defensive backfield with zero stones. This is your #BillsMafia

"We will be the most penalized team on the planet." - Rex Ryan
“We will be the most penalized team on the planet.” – Rex Ryan

13) Pittsburgh Steelers – I was in Pittsburgh this past week, and the loyalty and excitement of their fan base puts anything else I’ve seen in my travels to shame. However, that doesn’t win you football games.

14) Indianapolis Colts – Indianapolis have squeaked by the Titans and Jaguars in consecutive weeks. 10/8 Colts fans. 10/18.

15) New Jersey Giants – I didn’t give the G-Strings a shot in Orchard Park. Eli went back to being Eli late in the fourth quarter with the bonehead interception, but the Giants look solid.

16) Kansas City Chiefs – The Chiefs better get their offensive line fixed and in a hurry.

17) St. Louis Rams – St. Louis beats Seattle and Arizona, and will most likely lose to every crap team in the league going forward.

18) Oakland Raiders – Oakland had the Bears on the ropes while looking to win three straight. They have a date with The Forehead on Sunday at home.

19) Minnesota Vikings – The Vikings played a hell of a game in Denver. If Bridgewater had a ¼ of a brain, they most likely win that game.

20) Philadelphia Eagles – My good friend Darren probably had four and a half heart attacks watching that dumpster fire on Sunday.

21) Baltimore Ravens – Baltimore went ahead and used the “illegal formations” the Patriots finger blasted them with in the AFC divisional round. God, do I hate Baltimore.

22) Jacksonville Jaguars – Gus had his shot at taking over first place in the AFC South. His kicker single handedly blew that.

23) Cleveland Browns – Cleveland fans are probably itching for Johnny Manziel to get some playing time. However, McCown played a damn good football game in a loss.

24) New Orleans Saints – A week off may have been what Drew Brees needed. The Saints won a must win game in primetime. However, the run defense is still suspect.

25) Miami Dolphins – Trouble in South Beach.

"I hope you enjoy your practice squad checks."
“I hope you enjoy your practice squad checks.”

26) Chicago Bears – I’m not sure if the Bears were supposed to win that game on Sunday, but hey Foxy got his first win as the Bears head coach.

27) Washington Redskins – The Skins found a way to win on Sunday. However, Chip Kelly made that pretty easy on them.

28) Houston Texans – The Texans got their doors blown off by Matt Ryan. They may be facing the neck beard at home on short rest come Thursday night.

29) Tennessee Titans – It was a bye week for Mr. Personality.

30) Detroit Lions – The Lions were on the short end of the stick in Seattle. Maybe Fat Face can turn it around at home against Arizona this week.

31) Tampa Bay Buccaneers – I said Winston was going to be brutal, and he has been every bit of it since his first snap.

32) San Francisco 49ers – San Francisco is slowing melting back into that puddle of mess they were before Harbaugh came long.

AFC, Dallas Cowboys, New England Patriots, NFC, NFL

Injures Galore, Does Dallas Stand A Chance Against The Patriots?

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On Sunday fans will eagerly pack into the AT&T stadium in Arlington, Texas to witness a week five match up of epic proportions. Coach Jason Garrett’s Dallas Cowboys will welcome Coach Bill Belichick’s New England Patriots in what is sure to be an epic nail biter. Future Hall of fame Quarterback Tom Brady will need everything in his arsenal to take down Quarterback Brandon Weeden and the vaunted Dallas Cowboys offense. Wait….what?

at Mercedes-Benz Superdome on October 4, 2015 in New Orleans, Louisiana.

For those looking for a battle between highly touted gunslingers Tom Brady and Tony Romo on Sunday accompanied by an all star cast, might I suggest reviewing their match up from October 17th ,2011.  On October 11th, 2015 former Browns’ quarterback Brandon Weeden will be under center in a matchup which many feel has lost some of the shine which was promised when the NFL schedule was initially released. Brandon Weeden  had little success in Cleveland and is in no way an all star but will do his best to keep the game under control. Sadly for Dallas fans, Romo’s broken clavicle is not the only injury to disappoint those looking for a more heated match up. Cowboys’ star wide receiver Dez Bryant who injured his foot earlier in the season, has yet to return to the field, leaving Weeden  to throw to the likes of ester while receivers,  Lucky Whitehead and Devin Street.

In other areas of discontent, Dallas can’t rely on star running back Demarco Murray as they traded that particular Eagles free agency disappointment months ago.  Running back Lance Dunbar could have been a formidable option to run a tear through what is seemingly a Patriot’s defensive line that has trouble stopping runs, but sadly he went down with a knee injury. The offensive line has not looked as good as it had during last season either but let’s be fair it isn’t solely to blame for Dallas’ recent poor play, although it surely hasn’t helped. One apparent bright spot on the offense for Dallas however, is that all-pro Tight End Jason Witten seems to be in top form this season and will require some efficient game planning to upend.

On the other side of the ball, the Cowboy’s defense looked awfully weak during their encounter with the New Orleans Saints. In yet another unfortunate injury, linebacker Sean Lee was forced out of the game during the first half with a concussion. If Lee is unable to play on Sunday it will be an exceptional loss as he was currently the Cowboys leading tackler. On the bright side, two suspended players should be making their return to the NFL, and their presence should be able to beef up the defense a bit. Defensive End Greg Hardy will be making his debut for Dallas after serving a suspension for violating the NFL’s personal conduct policy. Hardy, who last played for the Carolina Panthers, originally had a 10 game suspension for knocking around his girlfriend and slamming her on to a bed full of semi automatic weapons, but the NFL dropped his suspension to four games in an appeal. Linebacker Rolondo McClain will be returning from a four game substance abuse suspension and like Hardy is expected to make an immediate impact lifting this defense up and making them a force to be reckoned with.

jerry-jones

Perhaps the largest case of unfortunate situations to ravage Dallas is the fact that Tom Brady is not suspended and will in fact be playing. Dallas owner Jerry Jones was one of a handful of influential owners pushing Roger Goodell to uphold Tom Brady’s suspension for being generally aware of footballs being deflated during last year’s Deflategate debacle.  The fact that Jerry Jones pushed for Patriot’s owner Robert Kraft to be a man and accept his ridiculous and overblown punishment for the “good of the NFL”, will not be lost on the New England Patriots or their fabled Bulletin Board.

Tom Brady, with the help of offensive juggernauts such as Rob Gronkowski, Julian Edelman and rising star Dion Lewis have been on an absolute mean streak as of late destroying their first three opposing teams in epic fashion .On paper, Dallas looks to have very little that can put a stop to the New England Patriots and their “Scorched Earth Tour”. Don’t throw a “W” in the win column just yet, if the NFL has taught us anything over the years it’s that players facing the most adversity often rise to the occasion. Sunday may just prove to be one of those odd occasions where David beats Goliath.

AFC, Arizona Cardinals, Atlanta Falcons, Baltimore Ravens, Buffalo Bills, Carolina Panthers, Chicago Bears, Cincinnati Bengals, Cleveland Browns, Dallas Cowboys, Denver Broncos, Detroit Lions, Green Bay Packers, Houston Texans, Indianapolis Colts, Jacksonville Jaguars, Kansas City Chiefs, Miami Dolphins, Minnesota Vikings, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints, New York Giants, New York Jets, NFC, NFL, Oakland Raiders, Philadelphia Eagles, Pittsburgh Steelers, San Diego Chargers, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, St. Louis Rams, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Tennessee Titans, Washington Redskins

NFL: Week 4 Picks

Last night the Ravens finally got off the hook, beating the Steelers in overtime 23-20, and more importantly covering the three point spread. That game wasn’t really about the Ravens. Let’s admit it, they’re not a good team. They finally were able to run the ball in the fourth quarter, but their offensive line is terrible, and their only reliable receiver is Steve Smith, who’s health is now something to watch. And above all, they’re 1-3.

The important thing from last night’s game was this: the Steelers NEED Big Ben back as soon as possible. Michael Vick is a nice story. I really like how he came back from his jail stint and really rehabilitated himself as a person. But he’s not the same guy he was five years ago. Last night he seemed very indecisive, held onto the ball too long, got sacked a lot, and missed a lot of throws. The consensus report is that Roethlisberger will miss six weeks. That means that counting last night, he will miss at San Diego, Arizona, at Kansas City, Cincinnati, and Oakland. If they win two of those games they’ll be doing good, and that would put them at 4-5. Who knows how far behind the Bengals that puts them. And even if they get Big Ben back with a 4-5 or 5-4 record, they’ll still have games remaining at Seattle, Cincy, and Baltimore, along with home games against the Broncos and Colts. All winable games, but loseable also. I think 9-7 is a realistic goal for the Steelers this year, assuming Big Ben doesn’t come back for another five weeks, and that’s too bad, because I think this is a really good team. 9-7 won’t win that division, and may not get a wild card. Maybe I’m wrong. I’m wrong a lot. I was wrong seven times last week, let’s take a look at this week. Home teams are in all caps.

Jets (-1.5) over DOLPHINS

This game isn’t actually in Miami, it’s in London. Maybe more Dolphins fans will show up. The Dolphins are definitely the biggest disappointment through three weeks. A lot of people, myself included, liked them as a possible playoff team. Shame on us for not knowing they quit on Joe Philbin in August. It wouldn’t surprise me if he “accidentally” get’s the wrong flight information on the way home and they just leave him in London. That would probably be the best way the Dolphins have handled a situation since the way they handled their offensive line in 2013. Moving on…

Jaguars (+9.5) over COLTS

Andrew Luck has to carry this Colts team, and now he’s “legitimately questionable” for this game. That sounds like BS, he’s going to play, but a compromised Luck means a compromised Colts. And the Colts aren’t very good to begin with. The days of them running through this division might be over. I think they’ll still go 5-1 or even 6-0 in division, but they’re not all going to be blowouts like the last few years. I’ll take the Jaguars getting that many points.

Giants (+5) over BILLS

Buffalo is for real, but the Giants getting five points coming off of a long week sounds good to me. The Bills had a big win last week, so Rex Ryan will again have them think they’re winning the Super Bowl. But make no mistake about it, the Bills are for real. Their defensive personnel is scary good. And Tyrod Taylor is a perfect fit for them. They don’t need him to go carry the team. They just need him to manage the game, not turn the ball over, and occasionally make some plays. Is Taylor the last quarterback to sit and learn for a few years and then step in and play instead of getting thrown into the fire as a rookie? That’s kind of a lost art, but he’s got a big arm and is very mobile. He might be good. But Buffalo is due for a let down, and the Giants are flying under the radar. Their offense is legit and keeps getting better each week. I’ll take the points in a close game.

BUCCANEERS (+3) over Panthers

Carolina is a pretty weak 3-0 team. I think the Bucs are going to be ok. Jameis Winston doesn’t look overwhelmed, and he’s getting more comfortable with Mike Evans. A lot of people are jumping on the Panthers because they’re 3-0. The teams they’ve beaten are a combined 2-7 and they’ve won by an average of about 7.5 points. That’s not great. I’ll take the Bucs getting points at home.

Eagles (-3) over REDSKINS

The Eagles seemed to solve a lot of their running game issues last week. Now they need to get DeMarco Murray going this week. I don’t think that’ll be much of an issue, he’s a special talent. An improved running game will help out Sam Bradford, who really needs to build confidence right now. And something vastly overlooked with this Eagles team is how good their defense is. They should feast on a turnover-prone Kirk Cousins.

Raiders (-3) over BEARS

Call me crazy, but I think the Raiders might have the best chance to dethrone the Broncos in the AFC West. Seriously, which quarterback has played the best in the division thus far? You could make a real argument for Derek Carr. He continues to develop a great connection with Amari Cooper, and they have one of the best young pass rushers in the league in Khalil Mack. Plus they play a last-place schedule, and the Bears are a grease fire. I think the Raiders should win this one easy.

FALCONS (-6.5) over Texans

I’m a little nervous considering the Falcons gave up 28 points to Brandon Weeden last week, but they did figure it out in the 2nd half. Devonta Freeman ran wild, and while the Texans have a much better run defense than the Cowboys, the Falcons have a very balanced offense. Kyle Shannahan has been very good as their offensive coordinator. He keeps finding ways to get Julio Jones open, and that guy might be the best receiver in the NFL. Also this team is very well coached, and their defense has improved. Plus the Texans have scored 20 points, 17, and 19 respectively so far this year. That’s not going to cover against Atlanta. I’ll swallow the points here.

Chiefs (+4) over BENGALS

Beware the Monday night loser. Everyone saw the Chiefs get embarrassed in Lambeau, and teams that get embarrassed on a national stage usually play well the following week. And seriously, how long can Andy Dalton go before he just has one of those bad Andy Dalton games where he throws like four interceptions? I’ll take the points.

CHARGERS (-7) over Browns

San Diego has not looked good at all this year. Their only win was against an even more unimpressive Lions team, and they still needed a big comeback to win that one. All that being said, I look for them to have a big game this week at home against the Browns, a team that’s not very good and has to fly out west. The Browns locker room is slowly starting to divide, because believe it or not they once again mishandled a big decision and benched Johnny Manziel despite playing well in Josh McCown’s absence. Cleveland, as always, is a dumpster fire.

49ers (+9) over PACKERS

The Packers are on a short week and have to make a west coast flight. The 49ers were embarrassed last week, and like I said before, teams that were embarrassed the week before usually play well the following week. Everyone’s beginning to realize how much Jim Harbaugh elevated Colin Kaepernick, but he should play better this week. The Packers don’t have as opportunistic of a defense as Arizona. Their run defense has been excellent so far this year, however, but it’ll be interesting to see how the 49ers run game which goes around the edges a lot more fairs against it. I’ll take the points in this one.

CARDINALS (-7) over Rams

Everyone overreacted to the Rams after Week 1, and now we’re seeing what they really are. They scored six points against the Steelers last week. Six. That’s like a high school game. And the Steelers don’t even have a great defense. Arizona’s aggressive defense should eat up Nick Foles, and Carson Palmer is playing as well as any quarterback in the league not named Rodgers or Brady. I’ll take the home team in this one.

Vikings (+7) over BRONCOS

Denver is the weakest 3-0 team in the league. Their defense is legit, but defense doesn’t win in this league anymore. The reason they didn’t put Peyton in the shotgun/pistol to begin the year is because they know that’s not going to win in November, December, and January, but they found out quickly that they can’t do what they need to do to win in cold weather. The Vikings are also looking very good. Throw out Week 1, because that late Monday night game to open the season is typically a terrible representation of how good teams are. Just look at how the Vikings and 49ers have faired since. I love Minnesota getting this many points.

SAINTS (Even) over Cowboys

Luke McCown vs. Brandon Weeden on Sunday Night Football. I can’t wait. Actually it looks like Brees will at least try to play, but in all honesty it doesn’t make much of a difference. The Saints are a rebuilding team, and the difference between 2015 Drew Brees and 2015 Luke McCown isn’t as much as you might think. The Cowboys defense is atrocious, shame on whoever said they’d carry the team without Romo. That being said, this is one of the most winnable games Dallas has without Romo, but I’ll take the Saints at home.

SEAHAWKS (-9.5) over Lions

There’s a lot of question marks with this Seahawks team, but don’t bet against Seattle at home in a primetime game. Detroit has been a major disappointment this year. Their offensive line has been crap, and it’s unclear whether or not Calvin Johnson just isn’t what he once was or if they’re just not using him the right way. Jim Caldwell might be Joe Philbin’s biggest competitor for the first-coach-fired-competition. Seattle honestly didn’t look that great against the Bears, but of course still won 26-0 because it was the Bears. I see them improving a little with Kam Chancellor having another week of practice under his belt. I’ll swallow the points and take the 12th man on Monday night.

For college football fans or just degenerate gamblers who will bet on anything, I’m in a weekly college football pick ’em. Here’s my picks for this week: Air Force (+5.5), Michigan State (-21.5), Northwestern (-4), Arizona State (+13.5), Michigan (-16), Georgia, South Carolina, and Notre Dame straight up.

NFL Record Last Week: 9-7-0

NFL Record Overall: 26-23-2

College Football Record Last Week: 7-1-0

College Football Record Overall: 14-10-0

AFC, Arizona Cardinals, Dallas Cowboys, New Orleans Saints, NFC, NFL, Oakland Raiders, San Francisco 49ers

Week 3 NFL review: 5 things we learned

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Week three is in the books and has brought its share of surprises. There were more major injuries, and somehow backup quarterbacks put up some pretty good numbers. Let’s review week three with five things we learned from last week’s games

1) Carson Palmer and Larry Fitzgerald have been amazing

Who knew that two aged veterans would still be able to put up huge numbers? This week Carson Palmer and Larry Fitzgerald continued to put up video game numbers as the Arizona Cardinals pounded the San Francisco 49ers 47-7. Palmer went 20/32 for 311 yards and two touchdown passes. Through three weeks Palmer has thrown for 803 yards, nine touchdowns to only two interceptions. Fitzgerald had nine catches for 134 yards. It was his second straight game where he had more than 100 yards receiving. To put that in perspective, Fitzgerald had only two games where he past 100 yards receiving last season.  With the Cardinals standing at 3-0, Palmer and Fitzgerald are lights out in the twilight of their careers.

2) San Francisco and Kaepernick need major fixes

On the other hand, the San Francisco 49ers were on the receiving end of the 47-7 blowout against the Cardinals. Kaepernick was horrendous. Kaepernick went 9/19 for 67 yards. He threw for no touchdowns, but threw four interceptions. Two of those interceptions were returned for touchdowns. Those two pick-6s happened in six minutes into the first quarter. The only bright spot of Kaepernick’s performance was a 12-yard touchdown run. There needs to be some change in San Francisco. No, I’m not saying that the 49ers should start Gabbert, because that is even worse, but the 49ers and Kaepernick need to find ways to improve. Kaepernick’s play through the first three games have been largely inconsistent. In their week one victory, Kaepernick went 17/26 for a dismal 165 yards and no touchdowns. Then in a week two blowout loss, He went 33/46 for 335 yards and two touchdowns. Then this trash performance happened. Whatever happened to the Kaepernick that took the league by storm during San Francisco’s Super Bowl run in 2012? The 49ers and Kaepernick need to find away to get back to that, or else it is going to be a long season.

3) The Oakland Raiders are proving they’re  legit

Who knew we would be saying this, but the Oakland Raiders are winning and competitive? Weird, I know. After being blown out 33-13 to the Cincinnati Bengals, the Raiders have turned around, all thanks to Derek Carr and Amari Cooper. With them lighting up on offense, the Raiders have pulled victories over the Baltimore Ravens and Cleveland Browns. Carr has thrown for 726 yards and five touchdowns on the season, and Amari Cooper leads the team with 290 yards receiving. Latavius Murray has provided additional help with 248 yards on the ground. On the defensive side of things, they’ve provided clutch stops. Standing at 2-1 and their great play, the Raiders look like they can compete for a playoff spot in the AFC. And no, I’m not kidding.

4) Who your backup quarterback is matters

Week three had teams start notable backups in place of their starting quarterbacks due to injury. With Tony Romo out for 8 weeks, the Dallas Cowboys started Brandon Weeden in a 39-28 loss where the Cowboys blew the lead in the 2nd half. Yes, Weeden went 22/26 for 232 yards, but don’t let the numbers fool you.  Almost all of Weeden’s passes were short or dumpoffs, and very few if any deep balls. Weeden threw an interception when he was flushed out of the pocket trying to throw downfield. Weeden did not throw a touchdown as the Cowboys run game led by Joseph Randle carried the offense. But the run game is not enough to win the game, especially since your franchise quarterback and best wide receiver are out for extended periods of time. Weeden is 5-17 as a starter, something that should trouble the Cowboys. Going to the southeast, The New Orleans Saints started Luke McCown in place of an injured Drew Brees in a 27-22 loss to the Carolina Panthers.  Again, don’t be fooled by the 31/38 for 310 yards statline. Many of those passes were short, even if he averaged 8.2 yards a pass. And like Weeden, choked the game away by throwing an interception. McCown is also 2-8 as a starter, a stat that should worry the Saints if Brees is out longer than we think. Up in Pittsburgh, the Steelers must deal with losing Ben Roethlisberger for 4-6 weeks due to a sprained MCL and bruised bone, and must start Michael Vick, who seems to be way past his prime. Like it or not, backup quarterbacks matter in the NFL, and you’re fortunate if you have a good one. By the way, we could be looking at a Weeden versus McCown matchup on Sunday Night Football, great.

5) The new extra point rule is truly affecting games

This year, the NFL changed the rules to make extra points be kicked from the 15 yard line to make them an impact on the game. This rule change has made it’s impact and has affected the outcome of games. Before, extra points were automatic, with only 8 being missed throughout the whole 2014 season. This season, through only three games, we’ve past that number at 14. This affects games as what should have been a one possession game, has become a two possession game because of a missed extra point. Instead of going for the “automatic” choice of the extra point, more teams are leaning towards the closer two point conversions. But those are not automatic either. Because of this rule change, what a team does after scoring a touchdown has become more intriguing.

AFC, New England Patriots, NFC, NFL

NFL: Week Four Power Rankings

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Super Bowls aren’t won in September, but you don’t do yourself any favors by starting 0-3. We have seven teams undefeated three weeks into the season, and a lot of franchises that resemble a healthy dumpster fire. One marquee quarterback is on a personal vengeance tour against the league, while another is looking every bit of the league MVP he was named in 2014. We’ve had surprises from teams in the NFC South, as massive injuries hit the faces of multiple franchises with championship pedigree. My beloved Patriots were given the earliest bye week in recent memory (no conspiracy theory here). So what do champions do during the bye week you may ask? Remember the scene in Billy Madison that required a pitching wedge, ice cubes, and a stuffed buffalo? It most likely plays out like this in the Brady household. TB12 sends the kids off to the grandma’s house and is having a week long slosh fest with Super G in his Brookline mansion. He dresses up, most likely as Gandhi (because all superheroes don’t wear capes) and boom, Brady baby number four gets dumped into Super G during the bye week. I’d bet my mortgage on it.

1) New England Patriots – #PrayforTheByeWeek

2) Green Bay Packers – The Denim King looks every bit of the MVP he was named last season. Health at the skill position is going to be something to watch in Green Bay.

3) Denver Broncos – “Keep, me, in, the, shotgun, please.” – The Forehead

Manning Praying He Stays In The Shotgun
Manning Praying He Stays In The Shotgun

4) Arizona Cardinals – Arizona looks like the most complete team in the conference, but can they stay healthy? The Kangol is doing a great job in the desert.

5) Cincinnati Bengals – AJ Green single handedly made someone very rich in daily fantasy football pools. I just can’t buy into The Ginger just yet.

6) Atlanta Falcons – Getting torched by a Brandon Weeden led Cowboys team isn’t what you expect from a Dan Quinn built defense. However, Julio Jones is playing like an absolute monster.

7) Dallas Cowboys – Dez and Tony Underwood-Simpson are both gone for the foreseeable future. Can Dallas’ defense allow them to tread water in maybe the worst division in football?

8) Buffalo Bills – Buffalo went back to being the Buffalo we saw in week one. Let’s see who shows up against the G-Strings this weekend.

9) Seattle Seahawks – Peter Rabbit decided to get Jimmy Graham involved in the offense. Smart move.

10) Carolina Panthers – The Panthers are one of the biggest surprises in the league thus far.

11) Pittsburgh Steelers – That scary Pittsburgh offense I spoke about last week is now even scarier….. For Pittsburgh fans. You are stuck with Mike Vick as your quarterback until around Halloween or later.

12) Kansas City Chiefs – Boy is Andy Reid one of the dumbest smart guys on the planet.

13) New Jersey Jets – Brandon Marshall made what he called the worst play in the history of the NFL. The Jets went back to being the Jets.

14) Indianapolis Colts – Chuck Pagano said a week three win against the Tennessee Titans was one he would remember for the rest of his life. That’s all you need to know about Indy.

Does this look like the face of the NFL's Designated Pharmacist?
Does this look like the face of the NFL’s Designated Pharmacist?

15) San Diego Chargers – The Chargers got their asses handed to them in Minnesota and Phillip Rivers went back to being Mr. Inconsistent.

16) New Jersey Giants – We’ll see what the Giants are made of when they head to Buffalo this weekend. Elijah played a decent game against a weak Redskins team.

17) Oakland Raiders – The Raiders won in the Eastern Time zone for the first time in 242 years.

18) Miami Dolphins – The Doppelganger stepdad from Step Brothers won’t be the coach of the Dolphins by Halloween.

19) Minnesota Vikings – AP is back, the defense is a bunch of ball hawks, and Teddy B is doing his best at taking care of the football.

20) Philadelphia Eagles – Chip Kelly has made some highly questionable roster moves since he has arrived in Philadelphia. Most of them haven’t worked out so well. Perhaps Ryan Matthews and Darren Sproles should be getting more touches going forward?

21) St. Louis Rams – Nick Foles needs to improve in every facet of the game. These losses are falling on him not taking care of the football.

22) Baltimore Ravens – “The Ravens and Harbaugh are sweethearts.” – Jonathan Kraft

23) Detroit Lions – Fat Face has either really regressed or is hurt more than we know. The Lions looked terrible at home against Denver.

24) Jacksonville Jaguars – Jacksonville returned to being Jacksonville after kickoff on Sunday.

25) Cleveland Browns – I’m still perplexed why Johnny Manziel isn’t playing over Josh McCown?

26) Houston Texans – I’m happy for Houston to get their first win. Granted it was over King Crab and the Bucs, but a win is a win. The AFC South could be the worst division in football.

27) Tennessee Titans – If the Titans had an ounce of experience, they send the Colts to 0-3.

28) Tampa Bay Buccaneers – The Bucs need to get the ball into the hands of their playmakers. The offense is as vanilla as I’ve seen in a long time. It resembles a preseason offense.

29) Washington Redskins – The Redskins may jump into the tankapalooza pool shortly.

30) San Francisco 49ers – Ebola Head threw four interceptions and had nine completions. Tough times in San Francisco.

31) New Orleans Saints – Drew Brees better get his shoulder fixed, and quickly.

32) Chicago Bears – It is a fire sale in Chicago.