Tag Archives: 2015 NFL Season

New England Patriots 53-man roster projection

The regular season is fastly approaching and with that comes roster cuts. Over the next few weeks the Patriots have to cut their roster down from 90 to 53, which won’t be easy with this being the most talented and complete 90-man roster the team has had during the Bill Belichick era.  With only one preseason game played and a few weeks of practices here is how my Patriots roster projection looks

 

Quarterback: Jimmy Garoppolo, Jacoby Brissett.  (Brady suspended first 4 games) (2)      This ones pretty obvious, Garoppolo will be starting the first four games of the season while Brady is suspended and once Brady’s back he’s taking over. There was talk about the Patriots possibly bringing in a veteran QB with rookie Jacoby Brissett in the backup role but Bill Belichick shot those rumors down this week and the two QBs on the roster will be Garoppolo and Brissett.

 

patriots-garoppolo-brissett-081516
via @csnne.com

Running Back: LaGarrette Blount, Brandon Bolden, James Develin, James White, Tyler Gaffney. (5)                                                                                                                                                          Let me start off by saying no Dion Lewis is not getting cut. Lewis is currently on the PUP list and has yet to practice after his season-ending torn ACL last season and I think the team leaves him on the PUP to start the season. There has been speculation that Blount could be cut but I don’t think that’ll happen, running back is probably the weakest position on the team right now and I don’t see them cutting the veteran and going into the year with a bunch of backs with not much if any NFL experience. White did a pretty good job after the Lewis injury last season and looked good in the teams first preseason game and can be the pass catching back out of the backfield until Lewis returns. Gaffney is finally healthy and looked pretty good in the first preseason game, breaking off a 44-yard touchdown run. If he can continue to look good in games and practice he could find a spot on the roster.

 

Wide Receiver: Julian Edelman, Danny Amendola, Chris Hogan, Malcolm Mitchell, Aaron Dobson. (5)                                                                                                                                       The first four guys listed are obvious, Edelman and Amendola are your starters, Hogan signed a big contract this offseason and Mitchell was taken in the 4th round this year and has looked like a stud prior to his elbow injury, which thankfully he’ll only miss up to four weeks with and has been practicing with the team already in non-contact drills. Not listing Matthew Slater as a receiver because he never plays on offense and is a special teamer. Aaron Dobson is the luckiest man in the world and will somehow find a way to make the 53-man roster again. Dobson always shines in camp and the preseason but can never get it together in the regular season. Keyshawn Martin is still not practicing with the team due to an injury and though I’m a fan of Martin don’t think he’ll make the final roster if he can’t get healthy. Rookie Devin Lucien and Chris Harper I think will find their way to the practice squad.

malcolm mitchell
via bostonherald.com

Tight End: Rob Gronkowski, Martellus Bennett, A.J. Derby. (3)                                                             Gronk and Bennett are two of the best in their position in the entire league and are obvious roster locks. The third tight end spot will come down to either A.J. Derby or Bear Pascoe. The two are completely different players, with Derby being a receiving tight end and Pascoe being a blocker. Derby made a few nice plays in the first preseason game against the Saints which could help him earn a spot on the roster. Pascoe could take over the Michael Williams role from last year as pretty much being an extra lineman on the field. It depends which route the team chooses to go but right now I give Derby the slight edge. 

 

Offensive Line: Nate Solder, Sebastian Vollmer, Joe Thuney, Josh Kline, Shaq Mason, David Andrews, Ted Karras, LaAdrian Waddle, Marcus Cannon. (9)                          Jonathan Cooper was a tough cut here but with him being injured and his injury history it could be tough for him to make the team. Joe Thuney has looked like the teams best offensive lineman and like a steal selecting him in the third round of this years draft. Bryan Stork was a tough cut but with his concussion problems and inconsistent play it shouldn’t be a total surprise if he doesn’t make the team. With versatile players such as Kline, Karras and Thuney able to move to center and backup David Andrews, Bryan Stork could be replaceable on the line. I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE Marcus Cannon but it doesn’t look like the team will be cutting him, even though he couldn’t block my 12-year old cousin. Tackle is really weak with Solder, Vollmer, Waddle and Cannon and the team could look to make a move. From what I’ve seen and heard I really like Ted Karras, he’s a guy who can play a few positions on the line and adds a toughness to the line. I think Tre’ Jackson starts the season on the PUP list to get  completely healthy and see what they have Karras, if he struggles they could move him down to the practice squad when Jackson is healthy.

thuney
via bostonherald.com

Defensive Line: Rob Ninkovich, Jabaal Sheard, Malcolm Brown, Alan Branch, Terrance Knighton, Trey Flowers, Geneo Grissom, Vincent Valentine, Chris Long. (9)                                     The most complete area on the roster. No debates on who makes the team out of this group. Markus Kuhn is someone who Bill Belichick likes but I don’t see him beating out any of these guys for a roster spot. Ninkovich is already practicing after tearing his triceps and is unknown if he’ll be able to play week 1 but he’ll be on the roster. Heard is gonna replace Chandler Jones with the help of Trey Flowers who was electric against the Saints and was all over the place making plays. Brown, Branch, Knighton and Valentine will add some beef to this line that will be hard to run against.

Trey Flowers, Luke McCown
via wwlp.com

Linebacker: Jamie Collins, Donta’ Hightower, Jonathan Freeny, Shea McClellin, Kamu Grugier-Hill. (5)                                                                                                                                                Not too much depth at linebacker but Collins and Hightower are two of the best linebackers in the league and are obviously locks. Jonathan Freeny played well last year and should also be a roster lock. McClellin is a similar player to Ninkovich and can play both linebacker and defensive end, he doesn’t do anything great but can do a few things well. Grugier-Hill is a smaller linebacker and played defensive back in college and played well in pass coverage against the Saints. He could have a big role covering tight ends and backs out of the backfield. I expect to see a lot of two linebacker sets featuring Collins and Hightower if both can stay healthy.

 

Cornerback: Malcolm Butler, Logan Ryan, Cyrus Jones, Jonathan Jones, Cre’Von LeBlanc. (5)                                                                                                                                                             A very inexperienced group outside of Butler and Ryan. Cyrus Jones was the teams top draft pick taken in the second round this year and is a lock to make the team and looks like he will be the teams starting slot corner. Jonathan Jones generated a lot of buzz during OTAs and at the beginning of training camp. He got beat a few times against the Saints but also made a few nice plays and pass deflections. Cre’Von LeBlanc has also been generating some buzz in Foxborough after his amazing interception against the Saints. He had good, tight coverage throughout the game and performed well in joint practices this week against the Chicago Bears. Was tough to not include Justin Coleman because of experience over Jones and LeBlanc but he has not had a very good camp up to this point. Got beat a couple times against the Saints in the first preseason game and struggled this week in joint practices with the Bears. This is a young unit with a lot of potential, but also a lot of question marks.

leblanc interception
via twitter.com @CL7_ENT

Safety:  Devin McCourty, Patrick Chung, Duron Harmon, Jordan Richards. (4)                           A very strong safety unit that could hopefully help out the young corners. McCourty and  Chung are two of the best in the league with McCourty providing help to corners over the top and Chung playing down in the box and covering tight ends. Harmon is similar to McCourty providing help and creates a lot of plays in the secondary. Jordan Richards was very limited last year and will be interesting to see how he does this year and the different roles they could use him in. 

 

Special Teams: Stephen Gostkowski, Ryan Allen, Joe Cardona, Matthew Slater, Nate Ebner, Brandon King. (6)                                                                                                                                  The best special teams unit in the entire NFL. Gostkowski is by far the best kicker in the league in my opinion, Matthew Slater might be the best special teams player of all-time, Ebner is back from the Olympics and who is another great special teams player, as well as Brandon King. Another big contributor to special teams is Brandon Bolden who I have listed with the running back group.

 

 

                        

 

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Patriots Training Camp Preview: Things To Watch For

It’s been a long six months but what we’ve all been waiting for is almost finally here with the Patriots set to open Training Camp Wednesday, with the first practice open to the public on Thursday. Here are some things I will be watching for once the Patriots kick off training camp.

 

Quarterback Reps

Maybe the most obvious thing that will be mentioned on this list and for good reason as it will be the most important. As we all know Tom Brady ended his DeflateGate appeal snd will be missing the first four games of the regular season. As part of this suspension brady can not be around the team, practice with the team, be at the stadium, or even have contact with anyone from the team until his suspension is over. This puts the Patriots in a tough position of how they should split first team reps in training camp and preseason games between Brady, Garoppolo and even rookie third round pick Jacoby Brissett. Brady has been the leader of the team the past 15 years and has been playing with the core of the offense with the past three seasons, though he has the chemistry with Gronk, Edelman and Amendola you don’t want him not taking many snaps with these guys in camp then missing the first four games and have him come back where the guys could be out of chemistry and out of sync a little bit. Then you face the problem of having to make sure Garoppolo is ready to play in those first four games and can build up a chemistry with the first team offense. Garoppolo has yet to really play a true meaningful down in the NFL and getting him prepared is the biggest key for the team heading into the regular season. The team even has to mix Jacoby Brissett in for snaps just incase Garoppolo gets injured or isn’t playing well and the team has to make a change during the first four weeks of the season.

NEL_0500.JPG
via bostonherald.com

 

D.J. Foster

D.J. Foster is a name that is not known by many, but one people will be hearing a lot about this preseason. Foster is an undrafted rookie free agent out of Arizona State who is listed as a running back, but is more of a receiver than a running back which will help him and was known as more of an offensive weapon for the Sun Devils. It’s no secret that coach Bill Belichick loves versatility in his players and that a receiving back has played a huge role in the teams offense during the Belichick era. Dion Lewis will be starting training camp off on the PUP list which will give Foster even more of an opportunity to show what he can do on the field and fight for his roster spot. With running backs LaGarrette Blount and James White very much fighting for their own spot on the roster, Foster should get many opportunities to prove himself and earn a spot on the teams final roster.

foster patriots
via patriots.com

 

Offensive Line

The Patriots offensive line was absolutely terrible last year, partly due to injury and partly due to all around poor play. Long time offensive line coach Dante Scarnecchia even came out of retirement because he couldn’t stand watching his offensive line play so bad anymore. The Patriots made a few offensive line acquisitions this offseason most notably Jonathan Cooper in a trade from Arizona and third round pick Joe Thuney from NC State. Cooper was the seventh overall pick of the first round pick back in 2013 and struggled in Arizona in large part due to injury, as well as the team trying to move him from guard to center. Cooper is known for having a little bit of a mean streak which is something that Dante Scarnecchia loves in his players and something that really all offensive lineman should have. Thuney played tackle during his time at NC State but said he sees himself as more of a guard in the NFL.Even with Thuney being more of a guard than a tackle at the pro level the versatility he can provide is something that the Patriots covet in him. With offensive lineman Shaq Mason, Tre Jackson and Sebastian Vollmer all being placed on the PUP list to start training camp Cooper and Thuney should get a lot of snaps with the first team offense and could very well be the week one starters.

Jonathan Cooper
vis bostonherald.com

 

Edge Rushers

The Patriots traded their top pass rusher this offseason to Arizona for a second round pick and the aforementioned Jonathan Cooper as Jones was entering the final year of his rookie contract and the team was unlikely to sign him after the season. Jamaal Sheard and Rob Ninkovich are locks to make the roster and be starters after both played very well last season. The team also added veteran defensive end Chris Long who was released by the St. Louis Rams this offseason. Long has taken a few steps back the past few seasons from his former Pro Bowl days at the beginning of his career. Long signed a very team friendly deal with New England because he wanted to go to a place where he could not only contribute but more importantly win. If Long can stay healthy and play in a limited role like Jabaal Sheard did last season, Long could have a very good season in New England. The Patriots will also look to second year men Geneo Grissom and Trey Flowers to step up and contribute to the teams pass rush this season. Both Grissom and Flowers looked good in preseason last year but saw very limited playing time during the regular season with Grissom only collecting one sack and Flowers only appearing in one game. Flowers is more of a true pass rusher than Grissom and can’t wait to see how they involve him in the defense once camp starts.The teams pass rush this year could be a weak spot on this defense or be quietly very good.

New England Patriots vs Green Bay Packers
via patriots.com

 

Cyrus Jones and Darryl Roberts

The Patriots secondary was very good last season and better than most people had expected. Malcolm Butler proved that he could be a true number one corner in the NFL and was named to the Pro Bowl for the first time in his young career. Logan Ryan went on to have a fantastic season and at times outshining Butler in the secondary and had a good 5-6 game span where he was dominant lining up opposite from Butler. Where the Patriots did tend to struggle last season was the slot corner. Guys were constantly being mixed in such as Justin Coleman and Leonard Johnson, and though they had their moments they often struggled. The team went on to draft Alabama corner Cyrus Jones in the second round, Jones has been deemed a little undersized but has very good speed and quickness as well as playmaking skills which could make him a great fit as the teams slot corner.Jones would constantly go up against some of college football’s top wide receivers playing in the SEC and would hardly ever get beaten. Jones should make an immediate impact in the secondary whether he be the teams slot corner or end up being a starter at some point throughout the season. Jones was also the top returner in college football last season and is expected to take over the kickoff and punt returning duties in New England. Darryl Roberts is a former seventh round pick out of Marshall who is entering his second season with the Patriots. Roberts was generating a lot of buzz for himself last preseason during training camp and was looked at as a potential starter to begin the season. Roberts ended up starting the first preseason game opposite Malcolm Butler against the Green Bay Packers, and then ended up breaking his arm on the second defensive series. He was later placed on season-ending injured reserve. Roberts should be easily 100% healthy entering training camp and will hopefully continue where he left off last year. If Roberts can come back healthy and looking as good as he can be, and Jones can step in and be a contributor the Patriots could build up a very good and very young secondary.

cyrus jones
via patriots.com

My Thanks to the 2015 Patriots

Payton Manning vs Tom Brady (Photo: Forbes.com)
Payton Manning vs Tom Brady (Photo: Forbes.com)

Well, it’s finally settled in now. The Patriots lost a hard fought AFC Championship game in Denver last Sunday. It gives Patriots Nation a chance to look back on the season as a whole and see what helped, or hurt, leading up to the playoff loss.

The first thing that comes to my mind is the choice to rest banged up starters, and play “preventative” offense week 17 in Miami, seriously, if you aren’t going to the big dance, why rest them right? Nah, Bill was setting the team up for their best shot at a repeat SB run. Face it, we are spoiled as fans of the greatest NFL team over the better part of 2 DECADES…. ( yes decades, plural ) that is insane! In a time of parody within the league (trying to move the best to the bottom, and the worst to the top) Belichick has continued to have the Patriots in playoff position almost every year since he started as head coach.

Chew on this for a minute, have you ever noticed as a fan, whenever the Patriots lose, we catch flak from the opposing fanbases? You know why? (That’s right, they expected the Pats to win) That’s what they’ve been doing and what they will continue to do as long as Belichick’s system is run like it has been run. (In case you haven’t heard…. he’s a genius)

Belichick is on to 2016 and so am I, the Superbowl is in a couple weeks, and I don’t really care who wins. My thoughts are that Denver will get embarrassed on the biggest stage once again, but I’m really starting to be rubbed the wrong way by Cam Newton’s antics and attitude, so it wouldn’t bother me if they called the game at 0-0 after 40 over times and declared both teams losers.

Bottom line is I’ll always be a Patriots fan, I was a fan when they couldn’t play their way out of a wet paper bag, and this year’s team played their asses off, overcame most of their injuries and came up short. Hell there’s 28 teams that didn’t do as good as the Patriots did! I WANT TO THANK THE 2015 PATRIOTS  AND THE STAFF FOR A GREAT SEASON!! AND WISHING THEM ALL THE BEST IN 2016!! #GOPATS

Patriots Fans: Don’t Hit the Panic Button

Thirty-one franchises across the league are given a four game preseason to get their teams ready for a four month long grind, consisting of sixteen games a bye week somewhere in the middle. Teams battle across eight divisions looking to win a hat and t-shirt made by some six year old over in Uganda that crowns them champions of their division. Being from New England, hat and t-shirt day is basically an annual holiday. We’ve come to expect that we will see grown men wearing their hats sideways with a t-shirt draped over their shoulder pads, and Matthew Slater chanting his typical “How do we feel, about another AFC East title” when he breaks down the team. There are drastic highs and drastic lows throughout the year for every franchise. Some teams, like the Colts, said winning a week four game against the Titans is the best day of their lives. Yes, this is coming from a coach who was there for his daughters being born, oh and yeah the guy beat something called cancer as well. The Indianapolis Drug Lord, whom has blocked me on all social media, already made the move of the off-season by resigning Pagano AND Grigson until the next decade begins. Can we get a slow golf clap for the Indianapolis franchise?

The moral of the story here is that one franchise is annually gifted a twenty game preseason. They play down at 1 Patriot Place and have successfully secured a first round bye for the millionth year in a row. Football doesn’t start in New England in September. It starts when the playoffs start, and that is all that matters. Am I a bit concerned with the play of this team over the last six weeks? I’d be lying if I didn’t die and had my family start planning funeral arrangements when our hero got his ankles rolled up on by that monster Suh. Remember when Pete said, “Oh No!” when Wilson threw the ball into Butler’s arms on the final play of the Super Bowl? Well that was me hiding under a blanket seeing Brady go down on Sunday. I resembled a child watching a scary movie for the first time. You saw the pain in the post-game press conference as well. Granted he is in Miami, and Tom Brady can wear whatever he wants in Miami, but the guy forgot his belt. Unless that is some new fashion power move that I can’t wrap my brain around, he also had a stiff limp to go along with it, which concerned me. Now, if it means wearing no belt with the shirt tucked in is the way to go, I’m throwing every one of my belts in the trash the second I get home.

But as I’ve said countless times in the past, not all heroes wear capes. It has been well documented Brady has some personal trainer, Alex Guerrero, who has been compared to Mr. Miyagi. Sources have confirmed Brady was seen walking in the locker room yesterday with ZERO limp. Explain this one to me. How does arguably the most violent defender in all of football roll up on you, murders your ankle, and you’re “fresh as lettuce” two days later? If this doesn’t have Alex Guerrero’s finger prints all over it then call me crazy. Maybe Brady loaded up on avocado ice cream? Maybe he didn’t have his “trickle of tomato” that month. Those who have zero clue what I am talking about, Brady swears off fruit because it has too much sugar and tomatoes cause inflammation. Brady’s cheat day consists of a banana. I can’t begin to wrap my head around the Brady family diet, and I don’t want to. It seems like a very scary place.

The play of this team shouldn’t cause much of an alarm compared to prior Super Bowl winners. Each of the last five Super Bowl winners haven’t exactly set the world on fire going into the playoffs. Belichick had his team back to the facility yesterday, while Denver is waiting until Thursday just for meetings. Is there any merit to that? No, but I’ll take Bill’s word over The Werewolf who coaches in Denver. The Patriots will be prepared, a bit more healthy, and ready to roll. Remember the last time someone called them dead? Well I do. It was Trent Dilfer after getting shoved into a locker on Monday Night Football by Kansas City. We came back the following week, against a team we very well may be hosting here next week, and threw a forty spot up on them. Then we head to Denver, if they can get by whomever they have to play in the first round. We all know Manning is starting over the kid from Twilight, and I’d rather murder Peyton again and send him to the grave once and for all. It is going to be a great month of football regardless of which team you root for. Grab yourself a handful of lentils and treat yourself to some avocado ice cream and enjoy the ride.

Jets Drop the Patriots in OT: Three Takeaways

Look, if Bill Belichick told me to light myself on fire and play Russian Roulette in the process, the first thing I’d ask if where is the match and who has the revolver? Did I scowl at the notion that he instructed Matthew (AC) Slater to kick off in overtime rather than receive? Absolutely, it is my job to question decisions like that. I love how the four letter network (ESPN) is talking more about Slater’s call than Peyton and his wife being part of some HGH drug cartel. Is Mark Brunell crying yet? Regardless, our boys dropped a close one yesterday. A few things became very apparent in yesterday’s loss to the New Jersey Jets. Before anyone jumps down my throat on this one, they play in New Jersey, not in New York.

Numero Uno – Belichick didn’t trust the Patriots offense. Plain and simple. Our hero spent more time on his back than he did on his honeymoon with Giselle. He was harassed all day and Marcus Cannon resembled a turn-style at times. Sea Bass went down with some sort of ankle injury, and it just snowballed from there. I can’t count how many tackles and offensive linemen this team has blown through, but the count is climbing by the week. You brought back the exiled Chris Harper, Brandon Lafell was virtually a non-factor, and Gronkowski was the only guy Brady really trusted throughout the day. And the running game resembled something you’d see from a Pop Warner team running east to west instead of north to south. Combine that with the defense playing fairly decent in the fourth quarter, Bill rolled the dice and lost.

Second – Malcolm Butler Gets Beat…. A lot. Look, the guy never has to buy another drink in the New England region ever again. He made the biggest play in Super Bowl history and murdered the Seahawks in the process. However, he is CONSTANTLY out of position, struggles against bigger/physical receivers, and really struggles in press coverage. Having said that, he is the best cornerback they have and will be an important cog in the defensive machine come January. He is a young player and he should grow into a top tier cornerback. But let’s not anoint him the next Deion Sanders. He is a glorified James Sanders at this stage of his career, minus the murder of the Seahawks.

Lastly – Winning The Coin Toss Means Squat – I love the kill them, go into halftime, and kill them again trick as much as the next guy. We’ve seen it more times than I can remember from Brady and the Patriots. I still can’t wrap my head around sitting on the ball at the thirty-five yard line with two time outs before the half. Isn’t the point of deferring to get an extra possession to end the half and start the second half with the ball? This is the fourth time, FOURTH, that they have done it this year. I don’t want to hear injuries are a part of this either. You have the best quarterback and best kicker on the planet, whom very rarely let you down. Put some stock in them and let them do what they do best.

But let’s bring things back to reality for a second. The number one seed is still well within reach. Indianapolis went down there and beat them with a guy who has a ponytail. Yes, he has a legit ponytail. I’m hoping Miami crawls into their off season hole by halftime and we can see Jimmy G sling it for a bit to close out the game. Pittsburgh is on the outside looking in and Kansas City all but wrapped up the five seed. More than likely they will be heading to Houston and the Jets will head to play the Bengals or the Broncos. I could care less who ends up where, because if this team gets healthy, Giselle and the other wives should just start booking wine tastings in Napa now for the first week of February.

NFL Week Sixteen Power Rankings

One of the greatest movies of all time is National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Russ turns out to be Leonard from The Big Bang Theory, while Ellen Griswold owned 1989 with the Farrah Fawcett look and most likely gave Chevy Chase the business daily in the actors trailer. The scene with Clark Griswold hitting on the smoke behind the underwear counter never gets old, and the “kiss my ass, kiss his ass, kiss your ass” part gets me every time. Another thing that doesn’t get old is securing first round byes before Santa squeezes his fat ass down the chimney, and making sure the road to the Super Bowl comes through Foxboro. This was the type of game you throw money on just to keep it interesting. The Titans were shoved into a locker from the opening snap, and the contest was never really in question. To be perfectly honest, I’m not sure why we even play these games anymore. This coming weekend, the Patriots head to New Jersey to play the Jets. I’d love to wrap up home field Sunday, but I’d rather come out of it healthy more than anything. Winning isn’t priority number one to me on Sunday. Regardless of how much better our hero is than anyone else on the planet, you can only overcome so many injuries. This is our final rankings of the season, so a big thank you to all who read throughout the year or wished ill will upon me and my family. I love you all! My next venture just started this past weekend with the New England Liberty of the Legends Football League. Odds are they win each game by a million and steal the other team’s lunch money while doing it.

1) Carolina Panthers – Cam Newton is the media’s MVP pick. I get it, trust me. However, look at his stats compared to every other QB in the discussion. Outside of his rushing touchdowns, he isn’t atop any of them.

2) New England Patriots – Forget football, did you see the Brady family Christmas tree? It had the perfect shape, dead on balls accurate ratio of lights to ornaments, and a tree skirt probably is the shroud of Turin. I don’t even want to begin to think of what actually goes under the tree from Santa. There are toys under that thing people don’t even dare speak about. On a side note, what do you think Tommy buys Super G each year? Does he go basic white dad? No chance in hell. Regardless, we are all just waiting with baited breath for the Happy New Year Facebook post from the Brady family. It is like that Christmas card you can’t wait to get each year. Guaranteed to have melt your face off kind of heat coming from TB12 this holiday season. #FamilyGoals

3) Arizona Cardinals – Losing The Honey Badger for the year is a massive blow to the Birds. Do you still trust Carson Palmer in the playoffs? I don’t, only because he is 1/8 of a ginger.

4) Cincinnati Bengals – The quarterback with the top 5 wife in the NFL better play top 5 football in Denver this week. Do yourself a favor and Google AJ McCarron’s wife. You’re welcome.

5) Seattle Seahawks – Pete was standing on top of a locker after his team’s win. I’m sorry Pete, that won’t bring you back from the dead. I saw you die in Arizona once Malcolm Butler picked off that pass.

6) Green Bay Packers – Aaron Rodgers and Randall Cobb definitely hit up the best circuit club in Oakland after their win. He has no idea what to do with a woman like Olivia Munn.

7) Denver Broncos – Denver could very well miss out on the playoffs with two straight losses. I’d give anything to see John Elway’s head explode during week seventeen.

8) Kansas City Chiefs – The Chiefs have a shot to win the AFC West. They need Justin Houston back to make any noise in the playoffs though. Justin Houston is the doppelganger of Ecko from Lost.

9) Pittsburgh Steelers – Antonio Brown has legit antennas carved into his haircut.

10) New Jersey Jets – Want me to believe in the Jets? Go beat Tommy this weekend in New Jersey.

11) Minnesota Vikings – Minnesota better hope AP just has a mild ankle sprain. Their season and life depends on the stability of the Switch King.

12) Oakland Raiders – Oakland could very well be playing their final game at home on Christmas Eve.

13) Houston Texans – Houston is going to be a playoff team. Their starting quarterback could very well be the Amy Schumer lookalike.

14) Washington Redskins – You like that?!?!

15) Atlanta Falcons – Not many folks picked the Falcons on Sunday, this game basically wrapped up the Voodoo Brown Office Pool title for me.

16) Buffalo Bills – Buffalo is a train wreck in every sense of the word.

17) Indianapolis Colts– Chuck Pagano should start packing his office up now.

18) Philadelphia Eagles – The sooner Philadelphia moves to a 4-3 defense, the sooner they can get out of their own way.

19) New Jersey Giants – OBJ said he was afraid the Panthers were carrying black bats around the field in pregame. Did they think they were going to Tonya Harding him?

20) St. Louis Rams – The Rams may be the biggest enigma on the planet. I can’t figure them out for the life of me.

21) Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Tampa Bay is back to doing Tampa Bay things.

22) Miami Dolphins – Miami should stick to strip clubs and plastic surgery.

23) Detroit Lions – Matthew Stafford may be improving, but the offensive line better get better before 2016. He is another one with a Top 5 NFL significant other.

24) New Orleans Saints – The Saints should shut down Drew Brees for the season. His ankle is toast and watching his defense resembles seven on seven drills.

25) Chicago Bears – Matt Forte should be getting the ball far more than he is. John Fox resorted back to being John Fox again.

26) San Diego Chargers– You have to respect Phillip Rivers’ passion for the game. You also have to respect he has twenty seven children.

27) Jacksonville Jaguars – I’m still waiting for someone to tell me their best Jacksonville pool suite story. Free t-shirt to the person who does.

28) Cleveland Browns – The record may not show it, but the Browns are still playing inspired football.

29) Dallas Cowboys – Dallas’ season is officially OVER. It is time for Jerry to go get another nip and tuck.

30) San Francisco 49ers – If you lose to AJ McCarron at home, it is safe to say things aren’t going well.

31) Baltimore Ravens – Murdered, AFC Divisional Round 2015.

32) Tennessee Titans – I was close about Mariota not leaving Foxboro alive. Chances are he is shut down for the season.

NFL Week Twelve Power Rankings

I, like any good Patriots fan, got a bit irked when they blew the Amendola catch dead with an inadvertent whistle. It most likely cost the Patriots a big play, that may or may not have resulted in a touchdown. But, since we are all in the circle of trust here, we’ve been on the positive side of questionable calls in our day. Sure you can scream to the high heavens that Goodell or ESPN had something to do with it, but Mean Gene is probably the best ref in the business, and he got the call right once it was screwed up. Buffalo beat themselves with poor clock management, undisciplined play, and poor special teams. It is the same old song and dance every week. It won’t be as easy this week, going into Denver with a patch work offense and the only game I’ll pick New England to drop this season. Sorry Patriots fans, it’s a reality.

1) New England Patriots – Big win against a tough defense, that knocked out two more offensive weapons.

2) Carolina Panthers – Cam Newton will challenge TB12 for the MVP.

3) Arizona Cardinals – I still think Arizona trips up in the playoffs against either GB or Seattle.

4) Cincinnati Bengals – The Red Rifle is softer than dog poo.

5) Denver Broncos – When we were all expecting Brady vs. Manning XVII, we are getting Brady vs. Osweiler One.

6) Green Bay Packers – Green Bay is back to being Green Bay again.

7) Minnesota Vikings – Minnesota has a way of making things easier on their opponents in crunch time.

8) Seattle Seahawks – Nobody will want to play Seattle come January, just based on the mystique.

9) Pittsburgh Steelers – Coming off a bye week.

10) New Jersey Giants – Coming off a bye week.

11) Kansas City Chiefs – Watch out, the Chiefs are making a run.

12) Indianapolis Colts– Chuck Pagano’s team believes in him. I’m not sure how to take that statement.

13) Atlanta Falcons – That is the sound of the Falcons going down the toilet.

14) Oakland Raiders – Amari Cooper had four yards receiving. You may not see that again…. Ever.

15) Houston Texans – JJ Watt is slowly climbing the ranks of biggest DB’s in football. I’m not talking about defensive backs either.

16) New Jersey Jets – The Jets started out so promising and have come back down to reality, and quickly.

17) Buffalo Bills – Undisciplined football and bad clock management continue to be the bane of Rex Ryan’s existence.

18) Miami Dolphins – Well, you let Dallas have a glimmer of hope.

19) Philadelphia Eagles – Chip Kelly should go back to coaching the other birds up in Oregon.

20) St. Louis Rams – Case Keenum looked like Rocky dragging himself off the canvas in his second title fight with Apollo.

21) Dallas Cowboys – I see a small, tiny sliver of hope in Dallas. However, that may go dark when Carolina comes to town on Thanksgiving.

22) Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Tampa Bay has double the amount of wins they had all of last year.

23) New Orleans Saints – Coming off a bye week.

24) Chicago Bears – John Fox gifted a win to his previous team on Sunday. You had one job John, one!

25) Jacksonville Jaguars – Can Jacksonville make a late season run at the listless Colts? I highly doubt it.

26) Detroit Lions – Three in a row for the Martha Ford Lions!

27) Baltimore Ravens – Joe Flacco got hurt, so did Justin Forsett, but that doesn’t matter when you only have three wins.

28) Washington Redskins – Washington proved once again why they will never be contenders in the NFC East.

29) San Francisco 49ers – The Niners gave a valiant effort on the road in Seattle, but that isn’t enough to win football games.

30) Tennessee Titans – Tennessee needs to address the defensive line and running game in the offseason.

31) San Diego Chargers– San Diego can’t get to LA fast enough.

32) Cleveland Browns – Coming off a bye week.