NFL Week Seven Power Rankings

It wasn’t the blood bath I was hoping for, but the Colts trying to pull off the Annexation of Puerto Rico made it all worthwhile. Indianapolis showed a little bit of pride and finally dropped their nuts after being shoved into a locker in the previous billion meetings. My boys came away with a victory on the road and sit atop the AFC, per usual. However, a tough game looms at home this weekend when a rejuvenated Jets team comes to town. This matchup places the number one offense in the league against the number one defense in a game that will play much closer than people think. The defensive front of the Jets is arguably the best in the league and let’s not forget about number twenty-four in the secondary. Granted, they still have the Amish King running the show on offense, but Todd Bowles led an Arizona defense into Foxboro a few years back and shocked the Patriots. Not sure if this has crossed anyone else’s mind, but we are almost halfway through the regular season. Winter is coming…

1) New England Patriots – If you don’t think Ernie Adams had something to do with the Colts calling that play, you’re lying to yourself.

2) Green Bay Packers – The Denim King proved he was human throwing a few interceptions two weeks back, and the defense let up a quarter-mile worth of passing yards. Yet, the Pack is still undefeated.

3) Cincinnati Bengals – The Bengals have the deepest roster in the NFL. Fact, not opinion. Can the Ginger keep up his stellar play when the elements come into play?

4) Denver Broncos – Denver’s defense and special teams has outscored the offense. I picked them to win the Super Bowl, but I don’t think they keep this pace up when the weather declines.

5) Carolina Panthers – Cam Newton did something he hasn’t done since he came into the league. He earned my kudos.

6) Arizona Cardinals – The Cardinals lost to Mike Vick and Landry Jones. Plain and simple. I won’t and can’t buy a Carson Palmer led team.

7) New Jersey Jets – Sheldon Richardson is licking his chops for Sunday’s game in New England. Hey Snacks, so is TB12.

8) Atlanta Falcons – The Falcons ran into The Kings of Primetime. Not many people beat the Saints in their own building when the stage is at its biggest.

9) Philadelphia Eagles – When is Chip Kelly going to realize running Demarco Murray laterally out of the pistol is not the best way to use his skillset?

10) Pittsburgh Steelers – Welcome to the NFL Landry Jones. Big Ben should be 100% healthy before he laces up the cleats again, and the organization will be foolish to allow him to do otherwise.

11) New Jersey Giants – I’ve never seen a quarterback make more horrible decisions in my life than Eli Manning. I mean these are the dumbest of dumb throws.

12) Seattle Seahawks – Russell Wilson’s pocket awareness is as sharp as a spork they give to prisoners.

13) Buffalo Bills – The locker room is already starting to unravel halfway through Rex Ryan’s first season.

14) San Diego Chargers– If 502 passing yards isn’t winning you football games, something is wrong on the other side of the ball.

15) Indianapolis Colts– I call it, The Annexation of Puerto Rico.

16) Dallas Cowboys – Bye Week

17) Minnesota Vikings – The Vikings offensive line needs to improve, regardless of the team winning games. AP is the cog that makes that engine go.

18) Miami Dolphins – The Fish seemed to play with a little bit of fire for their new coach. Maybe the Oklahoma drill actually works?

19) Cleveland Browns – Captain Mike must have been sick after that game on Sunday. He had multiple chances to put the Broncos and Manning away, and his team puked on themselves.

20) St. Louis Rams – Bye Week

21) Oakland Raiders – Bye Week

22) Chicago Bears – Alshon Jeffery’s return is going to be huge for the Bears offense. They need more out of the running game from Matt Forte to be competitive though.

23) New Orleans Saints – Brees delivered per usual for the Kings of Primetime.

24) Kansas City Chiefs – The Chiefs may not win more than four games this year. The team is a mess in all three phases of the game.
25) Houston Texans – Deandre Hopkins may be the best receiver in football in only his second year.

26) Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Bye week.

27) Washington Redskins – Gruden making excuses for the weather being too windy for his quarterback is not a good look.

28) Detroit Lions – Fat Face won a game! Fat Face won a game!

29) Jacksonville Jaguars – Not only do the Jaguars stink, they have to make their annual trip across the pond to get beaten by the Bills on Sunday.

30) San Francisco 49ers – I’m happy for Tomasula. We all laughed at his EBS issues in his presser a few weeks back. The Niners put their foot on the gas Sunday against the Ravens, finally. Plenty of pun intended.

31) Baltimore Ravens – Oh Baltimore, you will be 1-6 by this time next week. Life is good.

32) Tennessee Titans – Mariota has a slight MCL sprain. The Selfie King may be taking the snaps for the next few weeks.

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