Any fan in the New England region circled this this Sunday on the calendar, the second the schedule was released. The drug addict owner, the scumbag general manager, and a fan base whom is planning on flying a blimp over the stadium (which has a closed roof might I add), have to face their demons in a just a few days. Will Mr. Kraft be giving some sort of motivational speech during the pregame? I wouldn’t doubt it. Is Brady going to be playing with the fire of a thousand suns in Lucas Oil Stadium? That isn’t even a legitimate question. Will the Patriots punch the Colts in the mouth and take their lunch money again? I sure hope so. We’ve beaten them by a million the last four times we’ve played, so history is on the Patriots side. I don’t want to get too caught up in this and start flying the homer flag too much, so I’m going right into the rankings.
1) New England Patriots – The champs are still undefeated and are about to commit murder in Indianapolis on Sunday night.
2) Green Bay Packers – The Packers defense won them a game on Sunday. The Denim King threw her first two interceptions of the season, but they came out on top.
3) Cincinnati Bengals – OK Cincy, you have my interest now. You beat a solid team at home.
4) Denver Broncos – Manning’s arm still looks dead, but the defense in Denver is very much alive.
5) Atlanta Falcons – Devonta Freeman has been an absolute monster, and picked up the slack for an ailing Julio Jones.
6) Arizona Cardinals – Arizona is getting far too much hype. They are feasting on TERRIBLE quarterbacks and offenses. However, they are still 4-1.
7) Carolina Panthers – Coming off bye week.
8) New Jersey Jets – Coming off bye week.
9) New Jersey Giants – The Giants could very well be 5-0 right now.
10) Buffalo Bills – This Bills team reminds me a lot of the 2010 team that went to the AFC Championship. However, their secondary is 100 times worse.
11) Seattle Seahawks – Seattle blew it and I’m still wondering why they can’t get the ball to Jimmy Graham.
12) Pittsburgh Steelers – Steeler fans can’t wait for Big Ben to come back. However, knowing him he may rush back too quickly and do further damage. It was a big win for the Steelers on the west coast in primetime though.
13) San Diego Chargers – San Diego lost to a team led by Mike Vick. Plain and simple.
14) Indianapolis Colts – The day of reckoning is upon you Indianapolis.
15) Philadelphia Eagles – Sam Bradford better learn to protect the football in the red zone, regardless of how much Philly won by.
16) Dallas Cowboys – The Cowboys need a quarterback, and quickly.
17) Chicago Bears – I’m happy for John Fox. The guy has been to hell and back and has his team playing hard again.
18) Kansas City Chiefs – Jamaal Charles’ injury ended his season and most likely the Chiefs as well.
19) Cleveland Browns – McCown threw for a billion yards and the Browns won a game in a tough place to play. They get Denver this coming Sunday at home.
20) St. Louis Rams – Nick Foles had one of the worst games I’ve seen a quarterback play in quite some time.
21) Oakland Raiders – The Raiders continue to make Raiders type plays in crunch time.
22) Minnesota Vikings – Coming off bye week.
23) Jacksonville Jaguars – The Jaguars need to improve in the secondary before they can become somewhat relevant.
24) Baltimore Ravens – Nothing brings me more joy than seeing Baltimore 1-4.
25) New Orleans Saints – It is a short week for the Saints, but the game is in primetime and at home. Typically Drew Brees plays out of his mind in games like this.
26) Miami Dolphins – Coming off bye week. *Editors note: at least they didn’t lose, however they can’t blame losses on Philbin anymore.
27) Washington Redskins – Just like the Skins found a way to win a game last week, they found a way to lose one this week.
28) Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Winston didn’t turn the ball over for the first time in his short professional career.
29) Houston Texans – Houston may not win another game the rest of the season.
30) Tennessee Titans – Tennessee did all in their power to let Buffalo win that game on Sunday.
31) San Francisco 49ers – Too little, too late for the Niners. They can build off of that loss, but still have a long way to go.
32) Detroit Lions – Fat Face got benched for Dan Orlovsky. Enough said…