Tag Archives: AFC East

AFC, Carolina Panthers, Denver Broncos, New England Patriots, NFC

My Thanks to the 2015 Patriots

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Payton Manning vs Tom Brady (Photo: Forbes.com)
Payton Manning vs Tom Brady (Photo: Forbes.com)

Well, it’s finally settled in now. The Patriots lost a hard fought AFC Championship game in Denver last Sunday. It gives Patriots Nation a chance to look back on the season as a whole and see what helped, or hurt, leading up to the playoff loss.

The first thing that comes to my mind is the choice to rest banged up starters, and play “preventative” offense week 17 in Miami, seriously, if you aren’t going to the big dance, why rest them right? Nah, Bill was setting the team up for their best shot at a repeat SB run. Face it, we are spoiled as fans of the greatest NFL team over the better part of 2 DECADES…. ( yes decades, plural ) that is insane! In a time of parody within the league (trying to move the best to the bottom, and the worst to the top) Belichick has continued to have the Patriots in playoff position almost every year since he started as head coach.

Chew on this for a minute, have you ever noticed as a fan, whenever the Patriots lose, we catch flak from the opposing fanbases? You know why? (That’s right, they expected the Pats to win) That’s what they’ve been doing and what they will continue to do as long as Belichick’s system is run like it has been run. (In case you haven’t heard…. he’s a genius)

Belichick is on to 2016 and so am I, the Superbowl is in a couple weeks, and I don’t really care who wins. My thoughts are that Denver will get embarrassed on the biggest stage once again, but I’m really starting to be rubbed the wrong way by Cam Newton’s antics and attitude, so it wouldn’t bother me if they called the game at 0-0 after 40 over times and declared both teams losers.

Bottom line is I’ll always be a Patriots fan, I was a fan when they couldn’t play their way out of a wet paper bag, and this year’s team played their asses off, overcame most of their injuries and came up short. Hell there’s 28 teams that didn’t do as good as the Patriots did! I WANT TO THANK THE 2015 PATRIOTS  AND THE STAFF FOR A GREAT SEASON!! AND WISHING THEM ALL THE BEST IN 2016!! #GOPATS

AFC, New England Patriots, NFC, NFL

Patriots Fans: Don’t Hit the Panic Button

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Thirty-one franchises across the league are given a four game preseason to get their teams ready for a four month long grind, consisting of sixteen games a bye week somewhere in the middle. Teams battle across eight divisions looking to win a hat and t-shirt made by some six year old over in Uganda that crowns them champions of their division. Being from New England, hat and t-shirt day is basically an annual holiday. We’ve come to expect that we will see grown men wearing their hats sideways with a t-shirt draped over their shoulder pads, and Matthew Slater chanting his typical “How do we feel, about another AFC East title” when he breaks down the team. There are drastic highs and drastic lows throughout the year for every franchise. Some teams, like the Colts, said winning a week four game against the Titans is the best day of their lives. Yes, this is coming from a coach who was there for his daughters being born, oh and yeah the guy beat something called cancer as well. The Indianapolis Drug Lord, whom has blocked me on all social media, already made the move of the off-season by resigning Pagano AND Grigson until the next decade begins. Can we get a slow golf clap for the Indianapolis franchise?

The moral of the story here is that one franchise is annually gifted a twenty game preseason. They play down at 1 Patriot Place and have successfully secured a first round bye for the millionth year in a row. Football doesn’t start in New England in September. It starts when the playoffs start, and that is all that matters. Am I a bit concerned with the play of this team over the last six weeks? I’d be lying if I didn’t die and had my family start planning funeral arrangements when our hero got his ankles rolled up on by that monster Suh. Remember when Pete said, “Oh No!” when Wilson threw the ball into Butler’s arms on the final play of the Super Bowl? Well that was me hiding under a blanket seeing Brady go down on Sunday. I resembled a child watching a scary movie for the first time. You saw the pain in the post-game press conference as well. Granted he is in Miami, and Tom Brady can wear whatever he wants in Miami, but the guy forgot his belt. Unless that is some new fashion power move that I can’t wrap my brain around, he also had a stiff limp to go along with it, which concerned me. Now, if it means wearing no belt with the shirt tucked in is the way to go, I’m throwing every one of my belts in the trash the second I get home.

But as I’ve said countless times in the past, not all heroes wear capes. It has been well documented Brady has some personal trainer, Alex Guerrero, who has been compared to Mr. Miyagi. Sources have confirmed Brady was seen walking in the locker room yesterday with ZERO limp. Explain this one to me. How does arguably the most violent defender in all of football roll up on you, murders your ankle, and you’re “fresh as lettuce” two days later? If this doesn’t have Alex Guerrero’s finger prints all over it then call me crazy. Maybe Brady loaded up on avocado ice cream? Maybe he didn’t have his “trickle of tomato” that month. Those who have zero clue what I am talking about, Brady swears off fruit because it has too much sugar and tomatoes cause inflammation. Brady’s cheat day consists of a banana. I can’t begin to wrap my head around the Brady family diet, and I don’t want to. It seems like a very scary place.

The play of this team shouldn’t cause much of an alarm compared to prior Super Bowl winners. Each of the last five Super Bowl winners haven’t exactly set the world on fire going into the playoffs. Belichick had his team back to the facility yesterday, while Denver is waiting until Thursday just for meetings. Is there any merit to that? No, but I’ll take Bill’s word over The Werewolf who coaches in Denver. The Patriots will be prepared, a bit more healthy, and ready to roll. Remember the last time someone called them dead? Well I do. It was Trent Dilfer after getting shoved into a locker on Monday Night Football by Kansas City. We came back the following week, against a team we very well may be hosting here next week, and threw a forty spot up on them. Then we head to Denver, if they can get by whomever they have to play in the first round. We all know Manning is starting over the kid from Twilight, and I’d rather murder Peyton again and send him to the grave once and for all. It is going to be a great month of football regardless of which team you root for. Grab yourself a handful of lentils and treat yourself to some avocado ice cream and enjoy the ride.

AFC, New England Patriots, NFC, NFL

Jets Drop the Patriots in OT: Three Takeaways

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Look, if Bill Belichick told me to light myself on fire and play Russian Roulette in the process, the first thing I’d ask if where is the match and who has the revolver? Did I scowl at the notion that he instructed Matthew (AC) Slater to kick off in overtime rather than receive? Absolutely, it is my job to question decisions like that. I love how the four letter network (ESPN) is talking more about Slater’s call than Peyton and his wife being part of some HGH drug cartel. Is Mark Brunell crying yet? Regardless, our boys dropped a close one yesterday. A few things became very apparent in yesterday’s loss to the New Jersey Jets. Before anyone jumps down my throat on this one, they play in New Jersey, not in New York.

Numero Uno – Belichick didn’t trust the Patriots offense. Plain and simple. Our hero spent more time on his back than he did on his honeymoon with Giselle. He was harassed all day and Marcus Cannon resembled a turn-style at times. Sea Bass went down with some sort of ankle injury, and it just snowballed from there. I can’t count how many tackles and offensive linemen this team has blown through, but the count is climbing by the week. You brought back the exiled Chris Harper, Brandon Lafell was virtually a non-factor, and Gronkowski was the only guy Brady really trusted throughout the day. And the running game resembled something you’d see from a Pop Warner team running east to west instead of north to south. Combine that with the defense playing fairly decent in the fourth quarter, Bill rolled the dice and lost.

Second – Malcolm Butler Gets Beat…. A lot. Look, the guy never has to buy another drink in the New England region ever again. He made the biggest play in Super Bowl history and murdered the Seahawks in the process. However, he is CONSTANTLY out of position, struggles against bigger/physical receivers, and really struggles in press coverage. Having said that, he is the best cornerback they have and will be an important cog in the defensive machine come January. He is a young player and he should grow into a top tier cornerback. But let’s not anoint him the next Deion Sanders. He is a glorified James Sanders at this stage of his career, minus the murder of the Seahawks.

Lastly – Winning The Coin Toss Means Squat – I love the kill them, go into halftime, and kill them again trick as much as the next guy. We’ve seen it more times than I can remember from Brady and the Patriots. I still can’t wrap my head around sitting on the ball at the thirty-five yard line with two time outs before the half. Isn’t the point of deferring to get an extra possession to end the half and start the second half with the ball? This is the fourth time, FOURTH, that they have done it this year. I don’t want to hear injuries are a part of this either. You have the best quarterback and best kicker on the planet, whom very rarely let you down. Put some stock in them and let them do what they do best.

But let’s bring things back to reality for a second. The number one seed is still well within reach. Indianapolis went down there and beat them with a guy who has a ponytail. Yes, he has a legit ponytail. I’m hoping Miami crawls into their off season hole by halftime and we can see Jimmy G sling it for a bit to close out the game. Pittsburgh is on the outside looking in and Kansas City all but wrapped up the five seed. More than likely they will be heading to Houston and the Jets will head to play the Bengals or the Broncos. I could care less who ends up where, because if this team gets healthy, Giselle and the other wives should just start booking wine tastings in Napa now for the first week of February.

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NFL Week Sixteen Power Rankings

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One of the greatest movies of all time is National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Russ turns out to be Leonard from The Big Bang Theory, while Ellen Griswold owned 1989 with the Farrah Fawcett look and most likely gave Chevy Chase the business daily in the actors trailer. The scene with Clark Griswold hitting on the smoke behind the underwear counter never gets old, and the “kiss my ass, kiss his ass, kiss your ass” part gets me every time. Another thing that doesn’t get old is securing first round byes before Santa squeezes his fat ass down the chimney, and making sure the road to the Super Bowl comes through Foxboro. This was the type of game you throw money on just to keep it interesting. The Titans were shoved into a locker from the opening snap, and the contest was never really in question. To be perfectly honest, I’m not sure why we even play these games anymore. This coming weekend, the Patriots head to New Jersey to play the Jets. I’d love to wrap up home field Sunday, but I’d rather come out of it healthy more than anything. Winning isn’t priority number one to me on Sunday. Regardless of how much better our hero is than anyone else on the planet, you can only overcome so many injuries. This is our final rankings of the season, so a big thank you to all who read throughout the year or wished ill will upon me and my family. I love you all! My next venture just started this past weekend with the New England Liberty of the Legends Football League. Odds are they win each game by a million and steal the other team’s lunch money while doing it.

1) Carolina Panthers – Cam Newton is the media’s MVP pick. I get it, trust me. However, look at his stats compared to every other QB in the discussion. Outside of his rushing touchdowns, he isn’t atop any of them.

2) New England Patriots – Forget football, did you see the Brady family Christmas tree? It had the perfect shape, dead on balls accurate ratio of lights to ornaments, and a tree skirt probably is the shroud of Turin. I don’t even want to begin to think of what actually goes under the tree from Santa. There are toys under that thing people don’t even dare speak about. On a side note, what do you think Tommy buys Super G each year? Does he go basic white dad? No chance in hell. Regardless, we are all just waiting with baited breath for the Happy New Year Facebook post from the Brady family. It is like that Christmas card you can’t wait to get each year. Guaranteed to have melt your face off kind of heat coming from TB12 this holiday season. #FamilyGoals

3) Arizona Cardinals – Losing The Honey Badger for the year is a massive blow to the Birds. Do you still trust Carson Palmer in the playoffs? I don’t, only because he is 1/8 of a ginger.

4) Cincinnati Bengals – The quarterback with the top 5 wife in the NFL better play top 5 football in Denver this week. Do yourself a favor and Google AJ McCarron’s wife. You’re welcome.

5) Seattle Seahawks – Pete was standing on top of a locker after his team’s win. I’m sorry Pete, that won’t bring you back from the dead. I saw you die in Arizona once Malcolm Butler picked off that pass.

6) Green Bay Packers – Aaron Rodgers and Randall Cobb definitely hit up the best circuit club in Oakland after their win. He has no idea what to do with a woman like Olivia Munn.

7) Denver Broncos – Denver could very well miss out on the playoffs with two straight losses. I’d give anything to see John Elway’s head explode during week seventeen.

8) Kansas City Chiefs – The Chiefs have a shot to win the AFC West. They need Justin Houston back to make any noise in the playoffs though. Justin Houston is the doppelganger of Ecko from Lost.

9) Pittsburgh Steelers – Antonio Brown has legit antennas carved into his haircut.

10) New Jersey Jets – Want me to believe in the Jets? Go beat Tommy this weekend in New Jersey.

11) Minnesota Vikings – Minnesota better hope AP just has a mild ankle sprain. Their season and life depends on the stability of the Switch King.

12) Oakland Raiders – Oakland could very well be playing their final game at home on Christmas Eve.

13) Houston Texans – Houston is going to be a playoff team. Their starting quarterback could very well be the Amy Schumer lookalike.

14) Washington Redskins – You like that?!?!

15) Atlanta Falcons – Not many folks picked the Falcons on Sunday, this game basically wrapped up the Voodoo Brown Office Pool title for me.

16) Buffalo Bills – Buffalo is a train wreck in every sense of the word.

17) Indianapolis Colts– Chuck Pagano should start packing his office up now.

18) Philadelphia Eagles – The sooner Philadelphia moves to a 4-3 defense, the sooner they can get out of their own way.

19) New Jersey Giants – OBJ said he was afraid the Panthers were carrying black bats around the field in pregame. Did they think they were going to Tonya Harding him?

20) St. Louis Rams – The Rams may be the biggest enigma on the planet. I can’t figure them out for the life of me.

21) Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Tampa Bay is back to doing Tampa Bay things.

22) Miami Dolphins – Miami should stick to strip clubs and plastic surgery.

23) Detroit Lions – Matthew Stafford may be improving, but the offensive line better get better before 2016. He is another one with a Top 5 NFL significant other.

24) New Orleans Saints – The Saints should shut down Drew Brees for the season. His ankle is toast and watching his defense resembles seven on seven drills.

25) Chicago Bears – Matt Forte should be getting the ball far more than he is. John Fox resorted back to being John Fox again.

26) San Diego Chargers– You have to respect Phillip Rivers’ passion for the game. You also have to respect he has twenty seven children.

27) Jacksonville Jaguars – I’m still waiting for someone to tell me their best Jacksonville pool suite story. Free t-shirt to the person who does.

28) Cleveland Browns – The record may not show it, but the Browns are still playing inspired football.

29) Dallas Cowboys – Dallas’ season is officially OVER. It is time for Jerry to go get another nip and tuck.

30) San Francisco 49ers – If you lose to AJ McCarron at home, it is safe to say things aren’t going well.

31) Baltimore Ravens – Murdered, AFC Divisional Round 2015.

32) Tennessee Titans – I was close about Mariota not leaving Foxboro alive. Chances are he is shut down for the season.

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NFL WEEK 11 PICKS

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Obviously, the Jaguars beat the Titans on TNF.

Raiders (0) over LIONS –

The Oakland Raiders need this win more than anything.  They are tied with Kansas City in the AFC South, and they MUST win this game if they want to have a chance to make the playoffs.  Detroit is 4th in their division, so they aren’t really playing for anything, except the win.  While the game is in Detroit, the Raiders have more pressure to win the game, and more heart.  I believe the Oakland Raiders will win the game.

 FALCONS (-6) over Colts

This is a MUST win for both teams. The game is in Atlanta, so the Falcons will have home field advantage.  I had a hard time making this pick, however I do believe the Atlanta Falcons will come out with the win.  First off, Andrew Luck is not expected to play, which will make it much harder for the Colts to win.  Second, I just don’t see the Colts defense stopping the Atlanta offense.  It will be very hard to stop Devonta Freeman, who is playing at his best this year.

EAGLES (-7) over Bucs

This is also another MUST win for both teams if they want to have a shot at making the playoffs.  However, I am picking the Eagles to win this game.  While the Eagles have their issues which I’ll explain in a bit, I just don’t see a Jameis Winston led team being able to pull out the win.  Part of the issue is Tampa Bay’s defense which is not great at all.  The Eagles biggest issue is, Mark Sanchez.  There are obviously more factors, but last week the Eagles played a great first half, then Sam Bradford got hurt of course, and Mark Sanchez subbed in.  Then, in the fourth quarter, when you have to be clutch, Mark Sanchez could not finish the game.  I think this will be a very close game, but the Eagles will be able to pull out the win.  Mark Sanchez will throw at least one interception, and I think the reason why the Eagles will win this game is because of their running game, especially with DeMarco Murray in the backfield.

BEARS (0) over Broncos

With the Bears coming off a HUGE road win against the Rams last week, they will be ready to come out and battle the Broncos at home on Sunday.  It will be a lot harder for the Broncos to win without Peyton Manning, as Brock Osweiler will be the starting quarterback for the Broncos.  However, I am picking the Denver Broncos to win the football game.  Many may disagree, however, in my opinion, I think the Saint Louis Rams made some mistakes which caused the Bears to win the football game.  The Chicago Bears will lose this week to the Broncos as reality will set in.

Rams (+2.5) over RAVENS

This may be a difficult game to pick based on the stat sheet, but it is quite easy for me.  I am picking the Rams to win the game.  The Rams are 2nd in their division and need to come out with the win if they want to have a chance at making the playoffs.  As for the 2-7 Ravens, it would be a good win, but it wouldn’t do much as they have very little chance of making the playoffs.

DOLPHINS (0) over Cowboys

I think the Dallas Cowboys are not mentally tough enough to beat the Dolphins.  Each week the players are getting in fights with the media, firing snarky comments at their opponents, and they just lose.  They are currently on a seven game losing streak.  To make matters worse, they are playing on the road against the Miami Dolphins who are not consistent, but are a much better football team in my opinion.  This is an easy pick.  I pick the Miami Dolphins to win the game.

Redskins (+8.5) over PANTHERS

The Panthers will come out with the win this week.  They are the better football team overall, and Carolina is the home team.  Washington is 0-4 on the road so far this season, so I don’t think they can just come into Carolina and win.  I am picking the Carolina Panthers to win the game.

Chiefs (-3) over CHARGERS

While the Chargers are the home team in this game, I still believe the Chiefs will win.  This is a division game, so lots of things can happen, but the Chiefs NEED to win this game if they have any chance at making the playoffs.  I don’t think it will be a blowout, but Philip Rivers and the Chargers just are not playing well at all this year.  I am picking the Kansas City Chiefs to win this game.

VIKINGS  (0) over Packers

The Packers NEED to win this game, and so do the Vikings, but the Vikings are the home team, and Green Bay is 2-2 on the road this season.  Things in Green Bay just haven’t been clicking these last 3 games, and it is time for them to turn it around.  I think it will be a close game, but in the end Aaron Rodgers will have a great performance, and the Packers will get their much needed win.  This is a very hard pick to make, but in the end I am picking the Green Bay Packers to win the game.

49ers (+13.5) over SEAHAWKS

For this game, Seattle is the home team.  The 49ers are 0-4 on the road this season, and Century Link Field is a very hard stadium to play at.  I believe the Seahawks will pull off the win, especially because Colin Kaepernick has been placed on season ending IR, which will make it very tough for the 49ers.  Seattle’s defense will play a great game, and Seattle’s offense will put up just enough points to pull out the win.  However, it should be close.  I am picking the Seattle Seahawks to win the game.

Jets (-2.5) over TEXANS

While the Texans are the home team, and it will be tough for the Jets to win the game, but they will come through.  The Houston Texans just haven’t shown me enough this year.  They are pretty inconsistent to say the least.  And this isn’t the Rex Ryan coached Jets, this is the 2015 Jets, who have proven to be much better than last year’s squad.  I am picking the New York Jets to win the game.

Bengals (+5) over CARDINALS

This is going to be a tough game.  The Bengals lost to the Texans last week, and now they are going on the road to play the Cardinals.  While the Bengals are a great road team, I just don’t see their defense playing well.  Obviously Arizona has a great defense, with Patrick Peterson at the DB and Tyrann Mathieu at safety.  So, I think Cardinals’ defense will make it tough for the Bengals to score points, and it will be easier for the Cardinals to score on the Bengals defense.  I am picking the Arizona Cardinals to win the game.

PATRIOTS (-8.5) over Bills

Rex Ryan is all hyped up about that win over his former team, the New York Jets.  While the Bills did play a good game and got a good win, Rex Ryan gets all cocky when he wins games.  In week one, after Rex Ryan and the Bills got a good win against the Colts, he started talking smack about the Patriots and how he was going to beat them.  Once again, the Bills won the previous week and Rex Ryan is getting all cocky again.  Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots will shut him up, as they did week 2 on the road in Buffalo.  If that isn’t enough, the Patriots are also the home team.  I do think this will be a close game, but in the end, I am picking the New England Patriots to win the game.

 

 

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NFL Week Eleven Power Rankings

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Sometimes these games feel like they take years off your life. The fact this was a late afternoon game had me so jacked up, sleeping was going to be questionable move. Could you imagine if this were a Sunday night game? Forget it, I’d be awake until Wednesday watching Charlie Moore Outdoors. As much as I want to strip the manhood from every team we face, I want them battle tested for when the games get tighter. You need games like this, on the road, where difficult situations are thrown in front of you constantly. Your best receiver goes down? No worries, Bill cloned another one in Amendola. The linebackers are having a tough time in coverage on the swing pass and drag routes? Oh, just bring Patrick Chung up closer to the line whom you basically stole back from the Eagles to keep them honest. The whole plan and modus operandi of this team is genius. They take what you do best away from you, and then make you rethink what you think you are good at. Essentially a combination of all of this led to putting Coughlin in a coffin (credit to Lauren Cataldo). He is dead, there is no coming back from this. Thoughts and prayers out to the Coughlin family.

1) New England Patriots – Thanks for my ninth free iced-coffee of the year Dunkin Donuts.

2) Carolina Panthers – If Cam Newton and the Panthers are the best the NFC has to offer, clear February 9th, 2016 on your calendar for the parade.

3) Arizona Cardinals – Arizona is for real. They finally have a halfway decent quarterback and the best secondary in football.

4) Cincinnati Bengals – Did Andy Dalton go back to being as soft as Andy from Toy Story?

5) Minnesota Vikings – AP finally played an AP like game. Sadly, the rest of my fantasy team did nothing.

6) Denver Broncos – Manning has a bum foot and the Broncos could be in very big trouble.

7) Green Bay Packers – Ginger Rodgers better get his offense on track, and quickly.

8) Atlanta Falcons – Coming off a bye week.

9) Seattle Seahawks – The Legion of Boom is suddenly playing like the American Legion.

10) Pittsburgh Steelers – Pittsburgh still scares me more than any other team in football. BOLD PREDICTION: If it isn’t the Patriots, Big Ben wins his third ring this season.

11) Buffalo Bills – Two in a row for Sexy Rexy. He has a date with a sex God in TB12 on Monday Night Football.

12) Miami Dolphins – The Dolphins finally won a tough game on the road north of our nation’s capital. Could Miami make a late season run?

13) New Jersey Giants – Poor clock management cost the Giants their fourth straight victory over the Patriots.

14) New Jersey Jets – Dougie Fresh needs to find a capable quarterback sometime in the near future.

15) Philadelphia Eagles – SANCHISE!!! Good luck Eagles fans.

16) Oakland Raiders – Oakland lost a very Oakland like game on Sunday. These are the games they need to win to get over the hump.

17) Indianapolis Colts– Coming off a bye week.

18) St. Louis Rams – The Case Keenum era is about to begin in St. Louis.

19) Houston Texans – JJ Watt is such a hardo. I can’t stand anything about him and he has ZERO in common with Tom Brady. That argument starts and ends right there.

20) Kansas City Chiefs – What a huge win for the Chiefs. I say it time and time again, I am damn proud of Eric Berry and the way he has responded.

21) New Orleans Saints – Rob Ryan is either on the unemployment line or in the buffet line.

22) Chicago Bears – Don’t look now, but Chicago is making a little run in the NFC playoff picture.

23) Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Tampa and the play of the Crab King is making some waves in the NFC.

24) San Diego Chargers– Coming off a bye week.

25) Washington Redskins – You like that?!?!?

26) Jacksonville Jaguars – You lose to the Jets, but redeem yourselves by ripping out a Harbaugh heart to end the game. I love you Jacksonville.

27) Detroit Lions – Martha Ford may be the next head coach of the Lions.

28) Dallas Cowboys – No glory hole for Jerry this year. Sorry Dallas.

29) San Francisco 49ers – Coming off a bye week.

30) Tennessee Titans – The Titans had the Panthers on the ropes and they reverted back to being the Titans.

31) Baltimore Ravens – Deception continues to kill the Ravens and I love every second of it.

32) Cleveland Browns – Someone has to be the worst team in the land.

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Tom and Bill: Heroes Don’t Always Wear Capes

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I’m not one to get into post-game fashion banter, but let’s start with Bill wearing the power suit. (Most likely from Men’s Warehouse unless Linda sent him down to Newbury for a custom fitting. My money is on the former.) We’re most likely to see the Bill whom uses the three finger hair brush. The one whom still has the red challenge flag hanging out of his tube sock. And the one whom does a mediocre job on cutting the hoodie sleeves with a pair of Fiskars taken from Ernie Adams toy box. Bill brought the suit and tie ‘A’ game in East Rutherford on Sunday, but it didn’t stop there. Again, BB used his Jedi mind tricks on the Giants, Tom Coughlin, and Elijah to completely mismanage the clock in a key moment in the game. This enabled TB12 to do what TB12 has done for the last thirty-eight years of his monumental existence. Would I be surprised to hear that Bill practiced the lateral drill in the special team’s portion of practice after the Miami/Duke debacle a few weeks back? Of course not. He out prepares you. He out thinks you. Somehow, Belichick uses some hallucinogen on every other head coach in the league when it gets down to crunch time. And the effects aren’t short lived. Take a gander into the standings of the last three teams the Patriots emasculated in the playoffs. The Ravens are at the bottom of the barrel in the AFC. The Colts have a quarterback whom is most likely gone until Christmas. Not to mention, I teach boot camp classes at Latitude in Bradford and Methuen to a group of women who could handle the Colts. And, the Seahawks already have more losses this season than the Patriots have in the last three. God is good.

"Bill, why on earth did you take the wind in the Denver game, and play straight goalline against Seattle in the Super Bowl?
“Bill, why on earth did you take the wind in the Denver game, and play straight goalline against Seattle in the Super Bowl?

Speaking of his Holiness, now we turn to our hero. Usually you see some killer suit, tie, and pocket square combo that just makes your head spin. Not even close on Sunday. Not even by a little bit. Tommy completely flipped the postgame presser game on its head coming out in a solid white button down. Did he leave two buttons undone on purpose? Most likely. Such a power move coming from him too. He comes into Giants stadium, against a team whom has given him trouble in recent years, and decides NO DRESS CODE. 4X Super Bowl champions can do things like that, especially ones that are married to Victoria Secret models. Maybe the buttons being undone were a tribute to Jules. It is no secret JE11 and him are tight. Edelman secretly wants to be TB12, and that is OK. Any normal living New England born male is kidding themselves if they don’t feel the same way. Would you take five years off your life to be Tommy for one day? I’d take ten. If it is the difference between of living 92 or 82 years. Sign me up. No questions asked.

"No Dress Code" - TB12
“No Dress Code” – TB12

Sometimes these games feel like they take years off your life. The fact this was a late afternoon game had me so jacked up, sleeping was going to be questionable move. Could you imagine if this were a Sunday night game? Forget it, I’d be awake until Wednesday watching Charlie Moore Outdoors. As much as I want to strip the manhood from every team we face, I want them battle tested for when the games get tighter. You need games like this, on the road, where difficult situations are thrown in front of you constantly. Your best receiver goes down? No worries, Bill cloned another one in Amendola. The linebackers are having a tough time in coverage on the swing pass and drag routes? Oh, just bring Patrick Chung up closer to the line whom you basically stole back from the Eagles to keep them honest. The whole plan and modus operandi of this team is genius. They take what you do best away from you, and then make you rethink what you think you are good at. Essentially a combination of all of this led to putting Coughlin in a coffin (credit to Lauren Cataldo). He is dead, there is no coming back from this. Thoughts and prayers out to the Coughlin family.

The absolute gem and final takeaway of this game is the Commissioner was in attendance. Yes, that lying scumbag was there to witness Bill and Brady rip the hearts of out 70,000 people in their own house. Roger may just be a good luck charm for Brady. He ripped the pants off the Colts in the AFC Championship game. He then proceeded to win his fourth Super Bowl title and third MVP. And most recently threw the Giants in a locker after he took their lunch money late in the fourth quarter. Thanks Goodell. You made us do all of this. Remember that. To top it all off, Brady turned down Michelle Wolfson for the millionth time this year then plays the ‘No Dress Code’ card in the presser. Bill gives a wave to someone up in the stands (we still don’t know who it is to this day, my money is on Ernie Adams) and does a reverse Clark Kent and goes into the power suit for the postgame. The Patriots are 9-0, but that doesn’t get you anything in this league. Unless you’re the Colts, that gets you a 9-7 banner.

Family Goals
Family Goals

One more side note, if you feel the need to get jacked up and run through a wall pregame next week against the Bills when ESPN is in town, give this a listen from my barber. Completely kills it and rips the NFL’s face off.

Patriots – Hate Us Now Anthem

New England Patriots, New York Giants, NFL

New England Patriots: Who’s Next In Line? A Salute To The Hard Hats.

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Well, as hard as it may be to believe, we’ve reached the halfway point of the regular season…and the Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots are 8-0 and have already run away and hid from their AFC East foes.

As far as games go, the always troublesome NY Giants are next in line for a Sunday afternoon joust in mid-November. That’s set in stone. The Giants have spoiled perfect seasons in the past and most of Patriot Nation will never forgive them. This is a new year, with both teams having rotated most of their roster, but the anger is still there. Hell hath no fury like a Patriot fan scorned as Eli Manning and Tom Brady square off once again.

Talking about things you don’t talk about

Chandler Jones leads the NFL in sacks with 9 1/2 after 8 games (Photo: NFL.com)
Chandler Jones leads the NFL in sacks with 9 1/2 after 8 games (Photo: NFL.com)

When you talk about teams in the NFL, it’s usually a good thing when you don’t mention their offensive line. I mean, come on, talk about boring. The less you hear about them the better, ’cause it means they are playing well, that’s a given. Much is written about the glamour positions – QB, WR, TE, RB, DE…hell even CB’s!

But what about those guys down in the trenches? You know, the lunch bucket crew. The hard hats. Without looking it up most fans cannot name 10 offensive linemen from all the other teams in the NFL. My old Patriots Beat partner, Jeff Kane, is the exception, but he’s strange that way! And that group of grunts (I say that with affection) actually like it like that. They are happy just doing their job, heading home for a nice cool one (or two or three) and enjoying their anonymity.

Saying that, it’s impossible to talk about the Patriots’ success in 2015 without mentioning the turmoil that continues to occur every game with the biggest surprise of this year (no, not Dion Lewis, but he sure will be missed) – the unbelievable success of the no names in front of Tom Brady. They started the season without some big cogs in the machine that is in charge of protecting the life of the best QB in the history of the NFL, and it got worse week by week.

Who’s next up in the revolving door that is the offensive line?

So, let’s see who is next in line, as the names keep changing, but the results remain the same. The original front five were expected to be chosen from this group (in alphabetical order):

David Andrews, Chris Barker, Marcus Cannon, Blaine Clausell, Dan Connelly, Cameron Fleming, Tre Jackson, Josh Kline, Shaq Mason, Nate Solder, Bryan Stork, Sebastian Vollmer & Ryan Wendell.

That’s a hearty mixture of 14 (as in fourteen) young and old bodies that should allow Bill Belichick to pick the chosen few for his game day roster each week, right? So, what’s the problem? Well, as the Patriots prepare for the Giants the majority of the names above have fallen aside, either through retirement (Connolly) or injury (Solder, Vollmer, Wendell to name the most obvious) leaving the available list mighty slim.

Undrafted free agent Dave Andrews is the only offensive lineman to played every snap this season (AP Photo/Michael Dwyer)
Undrafted free agent center Dave Andrews (60) is the only offensive lineman to play every snap this season (AP Photo/Michael Dwyer)

The team went into last Sunday’s game dressing six offensive lineman and by the end of the game the number had dwindled to five!

Tom Brady foolishly made the tackle after throwing an interception in the Patriots win over Washington (Photo: AP/Charles Krupa)
Tom Brady foolishly made the tackle after throwing an interception in the Patriots win over Washington (Photo: AP/Charles Krupa)

Yes, you read that right. Once Vollmer went out with a head injury, the Patriots had no available back-ups to protect (gulp) Tom Brady. You wonder why they went to the running game early in the second half and now you know. Thank God TEs Rob Gronkowski and Michael Williams are both solid blockers and LeGarrette Blount is a horse or we could be praying for Tom Brady’s recovery right now.

Based on all the injuries, rookies and the retirement of Connolly you would expect Brady to be getting pummeled in every game, but it just ain’t so my friends. The fastest gun in the NFL has been sacked 18 times while running 537 plays. Sure, we all cringe as the bodies fly around him each week and, heaven forbid, he throw an interception and foolishly decide it’s his job to bring down the interceptor…because in all honesty, he is the franchise.

New England Patriots Hard HatsSalute To The Hard Hats

So, it’s time for fans to step up and salute those unheralded hard hats that give up their bodies each week so that Mr. Brady can continue, at the “old” age of 38, with his best season ever in the NFL. The offensive line has done it with smoke and mirrors, along with great coaching by Offensive Line Coach Dave DeGuglielmo in his second season, after the retirement of longtime Patriots coach Dante Scarnecchia.

It’s not a pretty job, but someone has to do it (how’s that for original journalism) as the next in line steps up in the quest for another Super Bowl.

Follow me on Twitter @SnowdonBob

AFC, New England Patriots, NFC, NFL

Perfectly Dominant, but for how long?

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bostonglobe.com
bostonglobe.com

Every great story hits a half way point, for the 2015 New England Patriots that half way point is quickly approaching with the arrival of the Washington Redskins this Sunday. How has the Patriot journey come thus far and where will it eventually lead? After a rough start to the 2014 season, the Patriots fought back with an impressive array of wins and eventually won the Super Bowl beating the Seattle Seahawks 28-24. What would be an end to one journey begot the start of another: Redemption. Not that anyone needs to be reminded ,but the Patriots 2015 post Lombardi afterglow was vehemently destroyed by the NFL due to allegations made by the Indianapolis Colts that the Patriots were playing with deflated balls in the AFC Championship game.

goodell-egg

The NFL proceeded to drag both Quarterback Tom Brady and the New England Patriots through the mud with unproven allegations of scheming and cheating. Roger Goodell attempted to suspend Brady for the first four games of the season, comparing his suspicions to an actual act of PED use as basis. Tom Brady won his case in court and prepared to take the field more determined than ever. Many questioned whether Tom Brady and the Patriots could still win amidst this controversy and the unfortunate departures of an elite secondary tandem consisting of Darrelle Revis and Brandon Browner. Taking a look at the first half of the 2015 NFL season, did the Patriots falter or prevail?

at Gillette Stadium on September 10, 2015 in Foxboro, Massachusetts.

Week 1 vs. Pittsburgh Steelers: The New England Patriots battled AFC rival the Pittsburgh Steelers at Gillette Stadium.  The Patriots started off slow allowing Pittsburgh running back DeAngelo Williams to run rough shod over their defense. Much to the chagrin of the Pittsburgh faithful , Tom Brady got his offense rolling and had it not been for a garbage time touchdown by Ben Roethlisberger late in the 4th quarter the final score of 28-21 would not have looked as hotly contested. Keeping the off field shenanigans rolling, Pittsburgh head coach Mike Tomlin was quick to complain of headset failure and accused the Patriots of cheating. The NFL, to their credit, cleared up the accusations by pointing out that both teams had issues due to weather.

Generated by IJG JPEG Library
Generated by IJG JPEG Library

Week 2 vs. Buffalo Bills: The Patriots were eager to prove that week one’s victory was no fluke but heading into Buffalo looked to be a daunting task. Rex Ryan, former head coach of chief division rival the New York Jets, was leading the charge in Buffalo and after an impressive thwomping of the Indianapolis Colts in week 1, the Bills were ready to show they could put an end to the Patriots AFC dominance. The Bills came out red hot and scored a touchdown on their first drive. The Patriots looked to be in dire straits but Tom Brady led his team back with a vengeance throwing for an impressive 466 yards and three touchdowns. The Bills had a total of 14 penalties and despite a fourth quarter rally were just outplayed by a better, more disciplined team losing 40-32.

Week 3 vs. Jacksonville Jaguars: Tom Brady became the fourth Quarterback in NFL history to throw 400 touchdowns when the Jacksonville Jaguars came to Gillette Stadium. There really is no way to paint this picture without indicating how dominant the Patriots were against the lowly Jaguars. Tom Brady and company put up a total of 51 points against a team that quite frankly was lucky to score the 17 points that they did.  As the old cliché goes, the Jacksonville Jaguars were playing checkers while the New England Patriots were playing chess.

Week 4- Bye

jerry-jones

Week 5 vs. Dallas Cowboys: With Tony Romo hurt for a good portion of the season and Dez Bryant out with an injury as well, it’s tough to label this victory as something that the New England Patriots can hang their hat on. Heading into Dallas, the Cowboys were ready to unleash newly acquired pass rusher and all around despicable human being, Greg Hardy. Known for his violent and masochistic ways, Greg Hardy was returning to the NFL for the Cowboys after being released by Carolina and serving a four game suspension for violating the NFL’s personal conduct policy. Hardy made several unprofessional overtures in regards to Tom Brady’s wife Gisele in order to get into the Patriot signal caller’s head.  Sadly, one elite defenseman is not enough to stop the New England Patriots as the reigning, defending Super Bowl Champions crushed the Brandon Weeden led Cowboys and held them without a single touchdown in a 30-06 victory.

via bleacherreport.com
via bleacherreport.com

Week 6 vs. Indianapolis Colts: Heading into Lucas Oil stadium the New England Patriots preached that this game was just “the next game on the schedule”, for fans it was to be something much more. The Indianapolis Colts’ general manager Brian Grigson was the man who brought the entire circus known as Deflategate to the NFL and ultimately the Patriots door. Had it not been for the Indianapolis Colts and their attempts to desecrate all that New England had worked for in 2014, the narrative on the Patriots would simply be Champions. Fans had the Patriots running away with this battle with scores of 70 -10 but the football Gods had different plans. The Indianapolis Colts put up a hell of a fight during the first half cutting off the field and taking away Brady’s short throws, ultimately giving the Colts a 1 point lead heading into the 3rd quarter. The second half brought forth the Indianapolis Colts that have proven to be what they are made of this season.  After what was possibly the worst fake punt play in history, the Colts succumbed to the New England Patriots, 27-34.

Danny Amendola makes an acrobatic catch in 30-23 win over the Jets Photo David Silverman
Danny Amendola makes an acrobatic catch in 30-23 win over the Jets Photo David Silverman

Week 7 vs. The New York Jets: When the New York Jets came to Foxboro they came to play some football and show the Patriots that they were no longer the doormat of the AFC. Gone were the brash Super Bowl predictions from a loud mouthed former head coach, now led by reserved head coach Todd Bowles, the Jets had a 4-1 record and were looking to overtake the current AFC leaders. The rancid under belly to this game of course ties back to Darrelle Revis returning to the Jets after a Super Bowl winning stay in New England. Revis, who is arguably the best cornerback in the NFL, can take an average defense and make them look fantastic by taking away a side of the field and freeing up more players for other assignments. The Jets were the number one rated defense about to take on the number one rated offense led by Tom Brady. The Jets played their hearts out and Ryan Fitzpatrick looked like a superstar for the first three quarters with 295 yards and two touchdowns. Ultimately, fortune shined upon the Patriots showing just how clutch Tom Brady is, as he led his team to victory in the fourth quarter with a pair of touchdowns and left the Jets on the losing end with a final result of 23-30. It would later be revealed that the Jets had the NFL sweep their locker room for bugs and look into a trio of on field Patriot personal. Nothing came of either situation but it is rightly apparent that the Patriots are in their opponents heads.

10-29 Ninkovich hits Tannehill (Photo: Keith Nordstrom Patriots.com)
10-29 Ninkovich hits Tannehill (Photo: Keith Nordstrom Patriots.com)

Week 8 vs. The Miami Dolphins: After trouncing the Titans 38-10 and the Texans 44-26, the newly invigorated Miami Dolphins felt they were ready to take down the undefeated New England Patriots. When Joe Philbin was fired and Tight End Coach Dan Campbell took his place he simplified both the offense and defense to immediate success. With the two headed beast of Cameron Wake and Ndamukong Suh now getting more comfortable, surely they would be giving Tom Brady fits. In a game which can only be looked at as a comedy of errors from the Dolphins side, they showed little of that renewed tenacity.  The Patriots dominated the Dolphins in every aspect of play, winning by a score of 36-07. As for Suh and Wake?  Suh was practically a non factor where as unfortunately for Cameron Wake, despite looking quite impressive on that October evening,  his season will now be spent on injured reserve.

In the coming week New England will be taking on the Washington Redskins as they reach their true half way mark to the season. Washington hasn’t played well and from a spectator’s point of view this game looks like another slam dunk for the Patriots. If the Patriots do manage to defeat the Washington Redskins as expected, who will eventually present a challenge? Next week, the Patriots head to New York to face a rival which has ripped away two Super Bowls from Bill Belichick and Tom Brady’s mantle. Eli manning is not a great quarterback but for some reason he tends to have the Patriot’s number. Could the Giants be the team that takes down the undefeated Patriots?

After facing the Giants, it’s on to perennial adversary; the Peyton Manning led Denver Broncos. As of this writing the Denver Broncos have the most intimidating defense in the NFL and on paper present the Patriots with their greatest challenge. Adding fuel to the fire is that the Broncos’ game will be held in Denver which is traditionally a tough place for any visiting team to get a win.  If the Patriots can get past Denver there does not appear to be too much resistance on the horizon with the exception of a trap game from the Eagles in week 13 or a possible upset in the Meadowlands when the face the Jets on their home turf.

The New England Patriots are currently undefeated at 7-0 and with the looming shadow and obvious circumstantial comparisons of 2007 hanging over their heads, its plausible that they could enter the playoffs at 16-0.  Tom Brady is playing the best football of his entire career, his offense is incredible and his defense is better than most will ever give them credit for. As the half way point of the season reaches to a close this Sunday I think it’s safe to say, the New England Patriots haven’t lost a step. In fact, the defending Super Bowl Champions keep getting better, while ridiculous accusations of cheating and treachery are losing any and all credibility.

AFC, New England Patriots, NFC, NFL

NFL Week Seven Power Rankings

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It wasn’t the blood bath I was hoping for, but the Colts trying to pull off the Annexation of Puerto Rico made it all worthwhile. Indianapolis showed a little bit of pride and finally dropped their nuts after being shoved into a locker in the previous billion meetings. My boys came away with a victory on the road and sit atop the AFC, per usual. However, a tough game looms at home this weekend when a rejuvenated Jets team comes to town. This matchup places the number one offense in the league against the number one defense in a game that will play much closer than people think. The defensive front of the Jets is arguably the best in the league and let’s not forget about number twenty-four in the secondary. Granted, they still have the Amish King running the show on offense, but Todd Bowles led an Arizona defense into Foxboro a few years back and shocked the Patriots. Not sure if this has crossed anyone else’s mind, but we are almost halfway through the regular season. Winter is coming…

1) New England Patriots – If you don’t think Ernie Adams had something to do with the Colts calling that play, you’re lying to yourself.

2) Green Bay Packers – The Denim King proved he was human throwing a few interceptions two weeks back, and the defense let up a quarter-mile worth of passing yards. Yet, the Pack is still undefeated.

3) Cincinnati Bengals – The Bengals have the deepest roster in the NFL. Fact, not opinion. Can the Ginger keep up his stellar play when the elements come into play?

4) Denver Broncos – Denver’s defense and special teams has outscored the offense. I picked them to win the Super Bowl, but I don’t think they keep this pace up when the weather declines.

5) Carolina Panthers – Cam Newton did something he hasn’t done since he came into the league. He earned my kudos.

6) Arizona Cardinals – The Cardinals lost to Mike Vick and Landry Jones. Plain and simple. I won’t and can’t buy a Carson Palmer led team.

7) New Jersey Jets – Sheldon Richardson is licking his chops for Sunday’s game in New England. Hey Snacks, so is TB12.

8) Atlanta Falcons – The Falcons ran into The Kings of Primetime. Not many people beat the Saints in their own building when the stage is at its biggest.

9) Philadelphia Eagles – When is Chip Kelly going to realize running Demarco Murray laterally out of the pistol is not the best way to use his skillset?

10) Pittsburgh Steelers – Welcome to the NFL Landry Jones. Big Ben should be 100% healthy before he laces up the cleats again, and the organization will be foolish to allow him to do otherwise.

11) New Jersey Giants – I’ve never seen a quarterback make more horrible decisions in my life than Eli Manning. I mean these are the dumbest of dumb throws.

12) Seattle Seahawks – Russell Wilson’s pocket awareness is as sharp as a spork they give to prisoners.

13) Buffalo Bills – The locker room is already starting to unravel halfway through Rex Ryan’s first season.

14) San Diego Chargers– If 502 passing yards isn’t winning you football games, something is wrong on the other side of the ball.

15) Indianapolis Colts– I call it, The Annexation of Puerto Rico.

16) Dallas Cowboys – Bye Week

17) Minnesota Vikings – The Vikings offensive line needs to improve, regardless of the team winning games. AP is the cog that makes that engine go.

18) Miami Dolphins – The Fish seemed to play with a little bit of fire for their new coach. Maybe the Oklahoma drill actually works?

19) Cleveland Browns – Captain Mike must have been sick after that game on Sunday. He had multiple chances to put the Broncos and Manning away, and his team puked on themselves.

20) St. Louis Rams – Bye Week

21) Oakland Raiders – Bye Week

22) Chicago Bears – Alshon Jeffery’s return is going to be huge for the Bears offense. They need more out of the running game from Matt Forte to be competitive though.

23) New Orleans Saints – Brees delivered per usual for the Kings of Primetime.

24) Kansas City Chiefs – The Chiefs may not win more than four games this year. The team is a mess in all three phases of the game.
25) Houston Texans – Deandre Hopkins may be the best receiver in football in only his second year.

26) Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Bye week.

27) Washington Redskins – Gruden making excuses for the weather being too windy for his quarterback is not a good look.

28) Detroit Lions – Fat Face won a game! Fat Face won a game!

29) Jacksonville Jaguars – Not only do the Jaguars stink, they have to make their annual trip across the pond to get beaten by the Bills on Sunday.

30) San Francisco 49ers – I’m happy for Tomasula. We all laughed at his EBS issues in his presser a few weeks back. The Niners put their foot on the gas Sunday against the Ravens, finally. Plenty of pun intended.

31) Baltimore Ravens – Oh Baltimore, you will be 1-6 by this time next week. Life is good.

32) Tennessee Titans – Mariota has a slight MCL sprain. The Selfie King may be taking the snaps for the next few weeks.