Let’s just hope Jonas Gray sets his alarm clock on Monday. The guy who single handily murdered the Colts scampered for a fifty-five yard run down the sidelines to put the Patriots up 8-3. Gray ran in the ensuing two point conversion. The second string Green Bay offense struggled and wasn’t able to produce more than a first down or two, handing the ball back over to the Patriots. With Jimmy G at the helm, the Patriot’s drive stalled deep in their own territory with a breakdown on the offensive line allowing a sack on Jimmy G. The Packers dinked and dunked downfield setting up a third and eight just over midfield. Green Bay seems to have left their punter at the airport and made Logan Ryan look like Meg Ryan, getting beat on the go route for a Green Bay touchdown. Green Bay missed the two point conversion, taking a 9-8 lead. Jimmy G hit James White on a nice little screen pass, but almost coughed the ball up with a poorly under-thrown pass. This forced the Patriots to punt, pinning the Packers at their twenty. The Packers seemed to continue treating this like a Madden game going for it yet again on fourth down, this time failing to convert. This put the Patriots in decent field position at the tail end of the first half, setting up perfectly for the two-minute offense. Jimmy G under-threw Boyce for the third time, barely avoiding an interception, causing the Patriots to settle for a 56 yard field goal attempt. Gostkowski smashed the field goal through the uprights, giving the Patriots an 11-9 lead at the half.
All posts by Mike Procopio
Patriots vs. Packers – First Quarter Review
The opening quarter of the preseason is always is filled with anticipation after being away from the game for over six months. Tom Brady and the New England Patriots took the field at Gillette Stadium about an hour ago to take on the Aaron Rodgers lead Green Bay Packers. The first quarter opened with Chandler Jones putting pressure on Aaron Rodgers and forcing the Packers to a third and long. An offside penalty negated a three and out allowing Rodgers to lead the Packers down the field. Rodgers being the best in the game with the back shoulder fade hit a few clutch passes bringing the Packers into the red zone. A great fourth down stop deep in Patriots territory led to a turnover on downs handing the ball over to the Patriots. Brady led the offense onto the field with second and third string offensive linemen and skill players against the Packers defense with about nine minutes to go in the quarter. The Patriots were three and out bringing the Packers offense back out onto the field in decent field position. Green Bay came back onto the field and decided to go for it on fourth and short and was stuffed deep in their own territory. In a surprising move, Brady came back onto the field for another drive hitting newcomer Brandon Gibson on a slant route to open the drive, but didn’t progress much from there. The Green Bay offense policed by Rodgers came on for a third drive. Trey Flowers made a great move around the tackle to sack Rodgers but Green Bay converted on fourth down extending the drive. Randall Cobb then made a great grab on a slant route bringing the Pack deep into Patriots territory. The first quarter wound down with the Packers settling for a field goal due to great New England defense in the red zone.
Preseason LIVE from Nix’s Mate in Boston
After talk of deflated footballs and TB12 being generally aware of something that may or may not have happened seven months ago, the time for football is finally upon us. The defending Super Bowl champion New England Patriots, kick off their 2015 preseason tonight at Gillette Stadium. Even though there will be no Tom Brady, we’ll get our first glimpse of the rookie class, veterans trying to make the roster, and Jimmy G running the first team offense. A few things to watch for
- Can the patch work offensive line give Jimmy Garoppolo enough time to throw?
- How will the rookie class react to their first game on the big stage?
- Will guys like Josh Boyce and Tavon Wilson prove they deserve a roster spot?
Goalline Gazette will be writing content with analysis at the completion of each quarter. Mike Procopio will be broadcasting live from Nix’s Mate in downtown Boston in conjunction with Frankie Says Relax, MVP, Boston Brothers, JM & ODogg.
Five Reasons Seeing Brady in Court is a Good Thing
Top 5 Things to Look Forward to when Brady takes the NFL to Court
I for one think Brady had some knowledge about what was going on. Information came to light today that didn’t look good for our hero . However, I’ve yet to see cold hard facts that state he tampered with footballs before we gave the Colts an ass kicking. Here are a few things we should all be looking forward to when 12 takes on the NFL in federal court.
5) Kraft on the Stand (Again) – The last time we saw Krafty Bob take the witness stand was during the Aaron Hernandez trial. He looked nervous, but also gave that power stare to the prosecution that just screamed, “I know the exact location of your season tickets counselor.”
4) That Rat Bastard Jim Irsay Getting Subpoenaed – Chances are fairly high that someone will have to wake Irsay out of an oxy induced coma the morning he is to be questioned. He and his scumbag GM were the catalysts for this entire debacle. I said it before and I’ll say it again, “Pray for Indy”.
3) Walt Anderson’s Testimony – This has been suspect since day one. Anderson and his crew had ONE JOB, the day of the AFC Championship Game, and that was to keep an eye on the footballs. For the first time in nineteen years, according to Anderson, the balls disappeared prior to kickoff. Does that seem the least bit questionable to anyone but me?
2) Brady’s Testimony – In New England, everything Brady says is typically gospel. However, he does have some explaining to do. Why did he order his phone destroyed the day he met with Wells? What in fact were those conversations about with the ball boys? All of this is going to come out in the wash. I do hope they ask him what exactly was on his phone and he answers with homemade videos of him and Super G.
1) Brady’s Suit Game – His suit game is going to be so on point, and you know it. Does he go double breasted? Will he rock a pocket square that just screams four titles? Maybe he goes with the Mr. Kraft power shirt? Anything he does, will INSTANTLY become to go-to for late summer/fall Men’s fashion. I’m maxing out my Amex and buying the entire get up the second he takes the stand.
#FreeBrady
The NFL Offseason in Context: A Look at Life In the Absence of Football
Apparently it is a big deal that a spaceship floating billions of miles away, took a few snapshots of a planet (which we already knew existed) and sent it back to Earth. Bruce Jenner now wants to be called Caitlyn, and Russell Wilson refuses to lay the pipe to Ciara, because God told him so. If this isn’t proof the world needs the NFL to function on the appropriate axis, I don’t know what is. Let’s start at the top.
By the time we do anything of remote importance on any other planet but the one I am on right now, I will be checked out with my ashes spread out somewhere exotic. Maybe Revere Beach? I constantly say I’m not living a super long life, so I will straighten that all out sooner rather than later.
I don’t care about Pluto. I never have and never will. I’m happy for the dudes at NASA though. Can you imagine the pants tent they got over the photos? The NASA guys were probably all huddled up around their laptops with Hot Pockets and Mountain Dew, waiting for the first image to stream through. I would compare this to how the rest of the world is waiting for the NFL to rule on Brady’s appeal, which will be any day now.
Now for Ms. Jenner and this big revelation of transitioning and the courage that goes along with it. According to the GM of the Red Sox, courage is playing left field for $20,000,000/year, ESPN is awarding him with the Arthur Ashe Courage Award. Courage seems to have a completely different definition than the one I was taught in say second or third grade. I have to pump the brakes on going into this anymore or I’ll have the activists after me again. One thing that is fact here is everything Bruce/Caitlyn and the tribe of misfits he considers family does, stems from the almighty dollar. If you don’t think this entire transition, Diane Sawyer interview, and new reality show isn’t triggered by the cash cow that was created once Kim’s sex tape was released, you’re a bit delusional. Speaking of Kim, for someone who has the biggest self-image issues on the planet, along with her fraud husband, her sex tape performance was beyond amateur.
Want to know something that is far from amateur? It is how our shining star Thomas Edward Patrick Brady has handled this suspension/appeal process. The guy is just continuing to ooze greatness in every facet of life. National writers and former players whom he repeatedly torched and then pissed on during their playing careers are casting rocks in glass houses. What does Tom do when this happens? He just posts angelic photos of him in the middle of a fairway (where else would he be but the middle of the fairway) with his baby girl Vivian crushing it in his bucket hat. Bucket hats are without a doubt the summer fashion trend and I’m going out and buying a dozen of them right now.
Speaking of amateur moves, let’s look at what Jason Pierre-Paul did over the fourth of July. I have ZERO sympathy for him or that other knucklehead from Tampa Bay. Not only did JPP decide to imitate Fire Marshall Bill and blow his damn hand up, but he had a U-Haul Van full of fireworks. For starters, why have a full van of fireworks? Do you really need to be “that guy” who outdoes everyone else on the block? You’re making millions of dollars a year, the dick measuring has to stop at some point right? Piggybacking on the fact that you’re making million dollars a year, shouldn’t you have “a guy” who lights them for you. Ninety-nine percent of these NFL players have entourages who designate a “Turtle” to do bonehead acts like this. Good luck playing with your hand in the dirt this year. I hope Bryan Stork bites your nub just because he is an animal like that.
God told Russell Wilson to “put the other stuff aside” for now. The “other stuff” he is referring to, is him and his girlfriend Ciara banging. I’m over the Russell Wilson act. I’ve been over it for a while, but now we are getting to the point I’m worried for his mental health. Do yourself a favor and go Google some of her lyrics and tell me she isn’t pissed about this. Hey Russell, did God tell you not to check out of the quick slant at the end of the Super Bowl? Buddy, you’ve been married before and your wife was NOWHERE near the dime that Ciara is. Explain to me how this all works and what good this is doing anyone else on Earth? You remember what happened with Percy Harvin and Doug Baldwin before the Super Bowl right? My money is on Earl Thomas or Bruce Irvin destroying that behind your back while you’re channeling your inner Tim Tebow in the ice tub.
There will be plenty more to talk about and this whole Brady ordeal will finally come to a head. I bet Kessler and Brady kicked Goodell around like the big bully on the playground during recess. Roger’s ass kicking lasted about ten hours though and same goes for that fraud Ted Wells. I, unlike most, actual read through the entire piece of crap Wells Report and was even more confused than before I started. Schefter, whom also swings a massive stick for posting medical records of JPP, stated Brady shined with an A+ performance. Guys like Brady who have wives like Super G, don’t cower into a ball when the pressure is on. What did you expect? Him to go in there like Geno Smith and completely hand it over to the witch hunters? Want to see the complete opposite of a witch hunt? I present week six of the NFL season to you. The Patriots head to Indianapolis for an all-out bloodbath against the Colts. I fear for Andrew Luck, I fear for Chuck Pagano, and mostly fear for the drug addict owner and GM. Start lighting candles now for the Colts in your church, temple, mosque, or community center. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Patriots hang eighty points on them. Training camps starts in just over two weeks.
Premature Evaluation: A way Too Early Look at the NFL Power Rankings, Part 1 AFC
With the league offices on Park Avenue literally turning into the Big Apple Circus, I figured why not have fun at the expense of the thirty two franchises whom keep this “non-profit” organization going. This is considered “down-time” for the NFL, when coaches and staff take a month or so off, to unwind before going full tilt into training camp. Bill is most likely parading around Nantucket on his newly renamed boat. Mr. Kraft is off in the mother land being an evangelist for Israeli football. The Forehead is figuring out if Denver really did want to trade him to Houston for God only knows how many draft picks. With the Brady appeal decision looming, we take a look at the league as a whole and why this year is the year YOUR franchise wins the Lombardi Trophy.
AFC East
BUFFALO BILLS:
Season tickets are at an all-time high.
Rex gives Brady more trouble than anyone.
Shady McCoy is going to run for 2,000 yards.
Translation:
Buffalo is still a cesspool and almost had Bon Jovi as their owner.
Agreed, but his record is still under five hundred.
Until he has a hamstring pull and starts calling Rex a racist as well.
MIAMI DOLPHINS:
Suh!
We own Brady in Miami and the AFC is weak.
Our coach is coaching for his job, he has a lot to prove.
Translation:
O/U on the amount of games before Suh gets suspended is 3.5. I’ll take the under.
As soon as the weather drops below South Beach, the Dolphins turn into guppies.
The doppelganger from the father in Step Brothers is a pud. Plain and simple.
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS:
They are the defending world champions.
We have Brady and Belichick.
Our schedule is much easier than last year, the AFC goes through Foxboro.
Translation:
True, but nobody has won back to back titles since…..
God, I love them both. I’d take a bullet for them.
Patriots always seem to have that “WTF” game somewhere early/mid-season.
NEW YORK JETS:
Brandon Marshall and Decker will be unstoppable.
Our defense is the best in the league!
Todd Bowles is a no nonsense coach.
Translation:
Whom is going to throw them the ball?
Cromartie is a shell of himself, but their front seven is solid.
He also has a permanent grin on. He reminds me of the Joker. Actually from this day on he will be referred to as the Joker.
AFC North
PITTSBURGH STEELERS:
Dick Lebeau needed to go, time for new blood on defense.
Big Ben had one of his best years as a pro last season, the Steelers were very close.
Winning in Pittsburgh is tough in the cold weather.
Translation:
Pittsburgh hasn’t been stout on defense in years, especially against the pass. This is a building process for them.
Can the Pittsburgh offense stay out of the tub and off the drugs long enough to sustain success?
You lost to Tampa Bay at home last season, enough said.
CINCINNATI BENGALS:
Andy Dalton is going to take the next step this year.
Geno Atkins leading that front seven is scary.
The Jungle is becoming a very tough place for opposing teams to play.
Translation:
Andy Dalton is going to take another step in which direction?
Geno Atkins wasn’t the same player after he got hurt. Case closed.
Marvin Lewis continues to hold a franchise back with more talent on both sides of the ball than most other teams.
BALTIMORE RAVENS:
Flacco is a proven winner.
Our defense is solid and will continue to win us big games.
Harbaugh is one of the best in the business. He can coach up holes in all three phases of the game.
Translation:
Flacco threw two gifts to the Patriots in the biggest game of the year.
Your defense blew two fourteen point leads in the playoffs.
Harbaugh is a cry baby like his twin and folded when BB put the heat on him.
CLEVELAND BROWNS:
Josh McCown is legit and will win us more games than lose them.
Our secondary is one of the best in the business. Haden is the GOAT.
It’s been fifty-one years! Our time is now.
Translation:
McCown has Matt Flynn syndrome. The Denim King went down with a concussion and he played decent against second tier defense.
Haden is good against mediocre receivers. Look at his numbers against the elite.
Exactly, it has fifty-one years. If Lebron couldn’t get it done. Josh McCown isn’t going to be either.
AFC South
INDIANAPOLIS COLTS:
We got Frank Gore to carry the rock and Andre Johnson as another target for The Neck Beard.
Our division is so weak, we’ve all but guaranteed a home playoff game.
Luck is going to take that next step into elite status, and should win the AFC.
Translation:
You are still soft and I have no words to describe what is going to happen to you week six when New England comes to town.
Raise a banner for that one too.
Ask Luck and the drug addict owner their record against BB and TB12 led teams.
JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS:
Bortles got some much needed experience last year and our line is much improved.
Julius Thomas is going to be a monster in the red zone.
Our team is resilient and going to surprise a lot of people next year.
Translation:
Bortles did improve, but whom is going to carry the rock? MJD isn’t coming through that door.
Who are the other playmakers on that offense? And Julius Thomas is soft as well.
Your coach was surprised when you didn’t turn the ball over. Plain and simple.
TENNESSEE TITANS:
The Silent Hawaiian is going no-huddle straight out of the gate.
Sankey will surprise people this year and go for over 1,500 yards.
Our secondary is one of the best in the league, we’re going to be tough to throw against.
Translation:
How many college quarterbacks who don’t run a pro-style offense do anything in year one?
Sankey looks like Tyrion Lannister in football pads.
Luckily you’re playing against the AFC East this year. Outside of TB12, you have paper bags throwing against you.
HOUSTON TEXANS:
Foster is going to reestablish his dominance in the running game.
JJ Watt is an “All-World” talent. Who is going to stop him?
We have two Brady understudies fighting for the QB job. They are both Pro Bowl talents.
Translation:
You can keep Arian Foster and his rubber band hamstrings.
JJ Watt IS an all-world player. But he is only one of 22.
Matt Cassel, Kevin O’Connell, Michael Bishop, etc. etc.
AFC West
DENVER BRONCOS:
Manning is the best to play the game, he is due for his second Lombardi.
Our front seven is going to be dominant. Miller and Ware paired with our rookie class will be giving nightmares to defensive coordinators.
Our offense is going to be more balanced this year, and not depend on 18 to win every game.
Translation:
As of today, whom is his number one receiver? Soft Thomas went to Jacksonville and Hard Thomas doesn’t want to take part in OTA’s.
Miller feasts on bad quarterbacks and disappears against physical offensive linemen. Watch the tape.
CJ Anderson and Monte Ball are NOT the saviors in the Mile High City.
KANSAS CITY CHIEFS:
Alex Smith is as good a game manager as there is in this league.
Jamal Charles may run for 2,000 yards this year with a healthy offensive line.
Houston, Hali and Poe are the second coming of the Steel Curtain.
Translation:
Alex Smith also forgot how to throw touchdowns to his wide receivers.
There is a lot of tread on Jamal’s tires. Not to mention he is creeping up on the wrong side of 30.
The secondary is the question mark here. Here is hoping Eric Berry gets healthy. In all seriousness, prayers to him.
SAN DIEGO CHARGERS:
This is a contract year for Rivers, he is going to be playing like a man possessed.
San Diego is one of the toughest places for opposing teams to play, especially east coast teams.
Antonio Gates came into OTA’s leaner and quicker than he is looked in years.
Translation:
This could also be a contract year for the Chargers in general.
Tell that to New England whom came in on short rest last season.
Any tight end with a bad foot, spells bad news for everyone involved.
OAKLAND RAIDERS:
Derek Carr showed promise in year one, he could surprise some people this year.
Latavius Murray is a beast pounding the rock. He may go for 2,000 yards this year.
Khalil Mack may win defensive player of the year.
Translation:
He may, but his offensive line may get him killed before Halloween.
Murray was a flash in the pan last season and won’t break 1,000 yards this year. I’ll throw some money on that as well.
Sadly Khalil is only one of twenty two out there, and you are still the Raiders.
As I said before, this is the most boring of times for any NFL fan. Many of us are waiting with baited breath on the fate of Thomas Edward Brady. The fans of the other thirty one franchises are anticipating big things from their team this year, and feel they are only a piece or two away from surprising people. In reality, the NFL is a tricky place and things happen that can change the entire competitive landscape in the blink of an eye. Personally, my sites are set on opening weekend when the Steelers come to town. We’ll see if the loss of the entire cornerback platoon has any effect on the BB run defense. Oh, and there is also that slight detail if the greatest quarterback to ever play the game will be suiting up for it as well. We are just about a month out from training camps folks, hang tight.
By: Mike Procopio
NFL News, as it happens, when it happens. Your one stop shop. 