New England Patriots: Top Excuses For Losing To The Patriots

Let’s face it, no team likes to lose (breaking news – how’s that for a major announcement)…but most teams seem to hate it more when they lose to the despised New England Patriots. It seems every time someone loses to the Pats, and it happens pretty often, there is an excuse other than they just got beat by a better team.

Hightower sacks Weeden in Patriots 30-6 blowout of Dallas (Photo: USA/Today)
Hightower sacks Weeden in Patriots 30-6 blowout of Dallas (Photo: USA/Today)

After Sunday’s blowout in Dallas (yeah, I know, everyone in Texas is hurt or the Cowboys would have won) I got to wondering about the top excuses teams have used, and, some that we may hear before the season ends. So here goes:

Top Excuses For Losing To The Patriots

  1. Number one is obvious (Used by the Colts/Ravens) – The Patriots played with their balls. By now we know this to be a fact because, hell, the NFL said so and they wouldn’t lie…it must be true if Commissioner Roger Goodell says it is. The only reason Tom Brady keeps winning is because of this. After all, he’s an “old” man now, so he just can’t be this good without some help. Oh yeah, almost forgot this one, they don’t fumble enough because of this.
  2. They didn’t give us time to adjust to a formation that, although legal, shouldn’t be (This one belongs to the Steelers/Ravens). The league needs to revise the rules (and has) so we are playing on a level playing field.
  3. The officials picked on us by calling too many penalties against our players just because we weren’t intimidated by Bill Belichick’s team. (Welcome aboard Rex Ryan and the Bills). To quote Rex, the Patriots are no Saints ya know (Thank God, the Saints are really bad this year).
  4. The Patriots knew what we were going to call before the plays were run. Their coaching and preparation just couldn’t be that good, (Rams/Eagles) – therefore they MUST have cheated.
  5. New England’s defense was too physical (I love this one) and our poor receivers were being beat up so they couldn’t get open (St. Louis again). After all, we were (Rams) the greatest show on turf and it just isn’t right. Result: Rules change.

    Ty Law with his
    Ty Law with his “too physical” play against the Rams (Photo: WEEI)
  6. They picked on us because we had so many players injured…but we showed them by keeping it close for a quarter (Dallas). It was a moral victory for us, not a true win by that team from back east.
  7. They didn’t win, we played better and “gave” them the game (too many teams to list).

Still To Come

  • Pat Patriot took our mascot out drinking the night before the game and got some “insider” information. This will be reported to the league for further investigation. Heck, they even went to the bathroom together…and you know that’s suspicious.
    Who, me????
    Who, me????
  • The 3rd string offensive guard went to high school with the Head Linesman’s wife’s 3rd cousin and therefore wasn’t called for holding when New England scored their 6th touchdown in the 4th quarter, costing us the game.
  • Our fans weren’t loud enough, so our players were not motivated. On top of that the media had them favored to win despite the fact we were playing at home…so it just wasn’t fair.

So, there you have it – 10 excuses to start you thinking. I’ll bet you can come up with more, so let’s hear them in the comments section. Odds are we’ll hear one of the above or something unique thought up by the Colts ownership after Sunday’s revenge game in Indy.

Remember, the game is supposed to be fun…so enjoy it, no matter what excuse the opposing team gives for losing. Hey, the Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots are your team, and it has been a great ride.

Follow me on Twitter @SnowdonBob

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2 thoughts on “New England Patriots: Top Excuses For Losing To The Patriots”

  1. No weather machine excuse? Every time a southern and/or dome team plays at New England, it is cold, snowing, windy, rainy. Waiting for the excuse that Belichick has bought Dick Cheney’s weather machine.

    Like

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